William Lobdell, a reporter for the LA Times, wrote a very moving article this summer on his loss of faith. He was the religion reporter for the paper and fiercely devoted to his Christian beliefs. In the course of his reporting, though, he saw so many horrible things - the Catholic abuse scandal, people desperate for healing from televangelists who never did, priests becoming fathers and getting out of child support - he lost his faith.
My problem was that none of that surprised me anymore.
As I walked into the long twilight of a Portland summer evening, I felt used up and numb.
My soul, for lack of a better term, had lost faith long ago — probably around the time I stopped going to church. My brain, which had been in denial, had finally caught up.
Clearly, I saw now that belief in God, no matter how grounded, requires at some point a leap of faith. Either you have the gift of faith or you don't. It's not a choice. It can't be willed into existence. And there's no faking it if you're honest about the state of your soul.
William mentions the theodicy problem. It is a hard, perhaps the hardest, question for any believer who attempts a serious examination of their faith. There are many answers, but no one that seems to satisfy a majority of people. In my own mind it comes down to a combination of having free will (and the baggage that comes with it) and being given tests in order to learn and grow. We learn nothing if we are not challenged and I think one of our purposes in this earthly existence is growing.
Read the whole article. It is a moving look at a person's journey to faith and then away from it.
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