It's a Wonderful Life

I will be moving soon. I suppose I should say everyone in this house will be moving soon. When my brother, Shawn, went off to college last year, I moved in with my mother to help her out as needed. Shawn and Mom co-own the house. Unfortunately, Shawn does not want the house anymore. I've known for a long time now that he feels it is a burden on him and he wants to be free of it. He also wants the equity in it. He is racking up a lot of debt and he believes that this will be a solution to that. It will, but only in the short term. He does not realize that he needs to change his spending habits if he wants to stay debt free.

This decision has been a huge blow to Mom. It has always been a dream of hers to have her own home. She has known for awhile that Shawn was growing resentful of the house, but was hoping he could grow up, mature.

Shawn has been unable to do that and I don't think he can as long as he has this house. He is having a rough time right now. Self-confidence, decision making, and confronting tough, emotional situations have always been a problem for him. The self-confidence issue has not been helped by his not having a girlfriend that lasted for more than a couple of months. Until now, anyway. His new girlfriend, Heather, has been around nearly a year, now. I would love to be happy for him, except that it is painfully obvious to me (and just about everyone else that knows him) that she is not the girl for him. She is very cold and unfriendly. She makes no effort to say anything to anyone in our family. Sometimes she will be at our house for hours without talking to anyone but Shawn (in annoying whispers). He has even admitted that she wouldn't mind if we were not around, so she could have Shawn all to herself. Everything about her screams high school. Well, she is only 19.

Shawn doesn't care, though. He is desperate for female companionship and she is desperate for someone to take care of her. He plans to move to Missoula because she is going to school there. His life is now being put on hold because the only thing he can think about now is her.

Anyway, it boils down to all of us having to move out of the house. Mom could refuse to sell, but it would just cause a huge rift between her and Shawn. I could easily help Mom make the house payment (I all ready pay some rent), but I have no way of coming up with the equity to buy Shawn out. Mom is crushed, as I said, and has shed more than a few tears in the last week. She even said she wished she had never bought the house. I wish there was something I could do. Of course I will be renting a place with her, but I want to do more. All five of her children have put her through so much in the last fifteen years. She deserves better.

Read? You mean like a book?

These are some very depressing statistics. I suppose that in our age of instant gratification, the slow pleasure that comes from books just doesn't do anything for a lot of people. I can't imagine a life without books and I've tried to instill the same love in my daughters.

Where's the Tooth Fairy?

I had a tooth pulled earlier. At a checkup a few weeks ago, my dentist told me that I had cavities in all of my wisdom teeth. Well, one of them was actually chipped and cracked. He thought then that I could still keep that tooth.

Unfortunately, 'twas not meant to be. The cavities in the other teeth were small and easily filled. The cracked tooth, however, turned out to be worse than what he originally thought. He said he could do a root canal if I really wanted, but that it would be messy and may not work. He said it would be best to pull it and I agreed. I think there was a gleam in his eye when I consented to the tooth pulling.

Now, I just need to convince the tooth fairy to leave some money under my pillow. Since it was a big tooth and not a baby tooth, I'm thinking $20 sounds reasonable.

The Greatest Actor

A wonderful homage to the greatest actor of our time and perhaps ever.

Pain

What is it about the human experience that makes us cause another human pain. I'm not talking about anything like violence or war or even teasing someone with the intent to hurt. I'm talking about the normal things people do in their lives that end up hurting someone. The things that are unintentional. Most people don't go around trying to bring pain to someone else, but it happens all of the time nonetheless. Why is that? How can so much anguish and grief come inadvertently?

Linguistic Humor

The Washington Post Mensa Invitational has regular word contests. In a recent one, readers submit a word from the dictionary; alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter; and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

UPDATE: Fixed formatting.