Wednesday, July 29, 2009

I'm St. Vincent Healthcare

The hospital I work at just announced the expansion of our Walk-In Clinic and Emergency Department. This is very exciting news for the hospital, of course, and something we very much needed. Anyway, there was a press conference with the usual pomp and circumstance. The media was there and if you look carefully at the next couple of videos, you'll see some creepy looking dork in a green shirt. I hope that guy doesn't work at St. V's because I sure wouldn't want to get healthcare at a place that would employ a guy like that.

I hate to disappoint anyone, but I'm not doing autographs. Sorry.

The Crushed Ego Gets the Last Laugh

I was orienting a student to the hospital on Monday. She is going to shadow a dietitian for a week to see if this is "What She Wants to Do With Her Life." I have to cover basic safety stuff such as what to do in case of fire, disaster, and so on. There is a quiz. One of the questions is "Who do you report to if you get injured?" She was not sure on this one, so I told her that it was me. This puzzled her until I explained that this was after she was patched up because we would have to do some paperwork for an event like that. We got that cleared up and went over a few more things. Then she smacked me down.

As she's leaving my office, she says with a smile, "Hopefully I don't get hurt so I don't have to come see you again."


Where in the hell did that come from? I hadn't been rude. I hadn't come on to her. I had been nothing but friendly and polite. And this is what I get? After a brief, stunned moment I said, "I don't know how to take that."

She smiled again and said, "In the best possible way."

I guess there's a "best" way to take "I don't want to see your ugly mug ever again, freak!" I mumbled something like "have a good day" and she went on her way.

She should have knocked on wood when she said that, though. A couple of hours later, I got a phone call. She - the girl who prayed for no harm to come to her so we would never cross paths again - had...wait for it...passed out in the ICU, fallen on her face, and bloodied her nose. No kidding. How bad am I that this made me laugh uproariously? So, notepad and pen in hand, I fairly danced my way to where she was because I had to get the info on the matter to file a report. Oh, yes, I reveled in her embarrassment when she saw me. "So, you had a little accident, hm? Why don't you tell me about it."

Ha! I said. Karma's a bitch, isn't it? That'll teach ya. Anything else you want to say now? No? Are you sure? Yeah, that's what I thought? Maybe you'll think twice next time before you say something stupid, hm?

Of course none of that was said aloud. And it's a slight exaggeration of what was going through my head. It was damn funny, though. The ending. Not the beginning.

I hope you learned your lesson reading this.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Obama Sees the Light

I completely understand the President's change of heart, though I came to realize this many years ago.

Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's

A New Fan of A Song of Ice and Fire

James Poniewozik over at Time has become a big fan of George R.R. Martin's epic fantasy series, A Song of Ice and Fire. He picked it up after hearing that HBO has a series pilot in the works. If you have not read this series, you owe it to yourself to check it out. It's heroic fantasy, but it's oh, so gritty. I wouldn't recommend getting too attached to any character as they are all fair game for the Reaper. Still, I highly recommend this series to anyone who likes rousing good characters and a gripping story. Now, if only book five would come out...

Birthers and One More Reason I Could Never Be a Politician

This video has been making the rounds lately.

Watching this amazes me on a certain level. I mean, I'm a pessimistic guy but I try (really!) to give people the benefit of the doubt. Then I see something like this and I think, "Yeah, humanity has barely more gray matter than an amoeba." What seals it is not the lady with her crazy rant. One or two loons in a crowd is to be expected. It's the mob applauding and cheering what she's saying.

This is just one reason I could never be a politician. I could not calmly stand there and be respectful toward this woman. No, I would be saying something like, "Look, lady, the fact of the matter is that you're crazy. And retarded. There's just no dancing around the issue. I hope you are not voting for me because I would consider myself a failure were I to secure votes from people as stupid as you."

Clearly, Mr. Castle is uncomfortable here. I feel for him. Up to a point. Republicans have not done near enough to quash this ridiculous rumor and so now have to sleep in the bed they've made. Of course, the media has been just as complicit. Witness Lou Dobbs raising the specter of "Obama Might Not Be an American" when the story was debunked on his own show three days previous.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Our Resplendent World

Check out this series of stunningly beautiful landscapes. This one is my favorite.

Weekly Secret


Tyler has words of wisdom for us all.