Monday, July 30, 2007

"I know!"

I really wonder about some churches out there.

At my job, I am responsible for everyone who comes to the hospital for business that is not a staff person. That includes vendors, contractors, and students. I put them through a brief orientation, verify their identity and employment, and keep track of them while they are here.

I also do this for clergy and parish visitors who come to the hospital to visit members of their church. More than any other group (excepting doctors), they have been the most difficult to deal with. That includes the director of our Spiritual Care department. I could go on for awhile with various stories about this, but I'll save them for another day.

A couple of months ago I gave her a list of clergy and parish visitors that had been through orientation with me. It was organized alphabetically by church and then by last name. She emailed me last week and said that was not working because "sometimes people don't know the name of the church." I wanted to ask who doesn't know, the people from the church, her and her staff, the volunteers who assist her, but I refrained. For a number of reasons, I just nod and agree whenever she says anything. Anyway, she wanted a list organized by denomination. So, I have had to go into my database and list a denomination for the nearly 200 churches I have listed.

Most are easy. If I don't know it, I can find it under the Yellow Pages of the phone book which lists churches by denomination. Sometimes, the church is not listed, however, and so I get on teh Interwebs and use the Google to find the answer. That led to an amusing find this morning.

I was looking up the Cornerstone Community church. While browsing the website of one of their branches, I found this beautiful nugget:

When one begins to study the Bible it doesn’t take long to determine what God values the most: he values himself above all else...

So apparently, God is like this guy:

I think God just became a lot cooler in my book. I do wonder about that church, though.

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