Monday, June 4, 2007

Family's important, but...

My sister, Shawna, uttered that phrase sometime back. I don't remember the context, but it wasn't said in complete jest. It was comical to me at the time for the sitcom-like absurdity of it, but the more I've thought about it, the sadder the phrase has become and the more it has seemed to embody the relationships among my siblings.

I have four siblings, three sisters - Sharie, Sheena, and Shawna - and one brother - Shawn. Growing up we were close, not extremely so, but we got along. As we became teenagers, though, we began drifting apart. We became caught up in our own problems, our own lives. I was/am just as guilty as the rest. None of us, myself included, call each other or make an effort to see each other near as much as we should. We get birthday gifts for each other more because it is expected than because we get excited and care about giving gifts to each other. I would say that most of us have no idea of what is going on in each other's lives past the surface level of where we are working and who we are dating. I don't think we know how each other really feels or what each other's hopes and dreams are. I also think that my siblings are very unhappy and desperately trying to fix it, but unsure how.

It's sad. I want to fix it, but I'm not sure how or if I can. Future posts will go more indepth on my siblings and our relationships and what I think the problems are that need to be overcome before we can become a closer family.


FoxyShawna said...

This will be interesting.
You know, you can ask me anything. I know that it is a bit of a cop out to say I have a hard time opening up, but I do have a hard time coming right out and telling someone/anyone my personal issues/problems. whether I should or should not, I expect others to notice if their is something going on with me and just straight up ask. Yes, I know all of us siblings seem to be too busy for eachother but.......(haha, I just thought I would throw that but in their.)

Captain Noble said...

I would say it is a cop-out to always expect the other person to ask how you are doing. You're shifting all of the responsibility from yourself to them. That said, I will try harder to ask you about your life. Typically when people say, "How are you?" they are not meaning it more than superficially, but when I ask you how you're doing, I am really asking you how you're doing.

So, I'll try to really ask you how things are going if you try to open up without being prodded. Deal?