Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The Crushed Ego Gets the Last Laugh

I was orienting a student to the hospital on Monday. She is going to shadow a dietitian for a week to see if this is "What She Wants to Do With Her Life." I have to cover basic safety stuff such as what to do in case of fire, disaster, and so on. There is a quiz. One of the questions is "Who do you report to if you get injured?" She was not sure on this one, so I told her that it was me. This puzzled her until I explained that this was after she was patched up because we would have to do some paperwork for an event like that. We got that cleared up and went over a few more things. Then she smacked me down.

As she's leaving my office, she says with a smile, "Hopefully I don't get hurt so I don't have to come see you again."


Where in the hell did that come from? I hadn't been rude. I hadn't come on to her. I had been nothing but friendly and polite. And this is what I get? After a brief, stunned moment I said, "I don't know how to take that."

She smiled again and said, "In the best possible way."

I guess there's a "best" way to take "I don't want to see your ugly mug ever again, freak!" I mumbled something like "have a good day" and she went on her way.

She should have knocked on wood when she said that, though. A couple of hours later, I got a phone call. She - the girl who prayed for no harm to come to her so we would never cross paths again - had...wait for it...passed out in the ICU, fallen on her face, and bloodied her nose. No kidding. How bad am I that this made me laugh uproariously? So, notepad and pen in hand, I fairly danced my way to where she was because I had to get the info on the matter to file a report. Oh, yes, I reveled in her embarrassment when she saw me. "So, you had a little accident, hm? Why don't you tell me about it."

Ha! I said. Karma's a bitch, isn't it? That'll teach ya. Anything else you want to say now? No? Are you sure? Yeah, that's what I thought? Maybe you'll think twice next time before you say something stupid, hm?

Of course none of that was said aloud. And it's a slight exaggeration of what was going through my head. It was damn funny, though. The ending. Not the beginning.

I hope you learned your lesson reading this.

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