Sunday, June 28, 2009

Catering to the Wannabe-Adulterer Crowd

I had never heard of this site - - until I read about it on Time. It is a website for married persons who want to cheat on their spouse. Yes, you read that right.

Two-timing politicians, take note: Cheating has never been easier., a personals site designed to facilitate extra-marital affairs, now boasts slick iPhone and Blackberry versions that help married horndogs find like-minded cheaters within minutes. The new tools are aimed at tech-savvy adulterers wary of leaving tracks on work or home computers. Because the apps are loaded up from phones' browsers, they leave no electronic trail that suspicious spouses can trace.

What can you even say to something like this? The article quotes people who use the site as complaining about lack of intimacy or compliments. Well, then why aren't we setting up a website to help couples deal with these issues? Because that's a lot harder, that's why. Our society is engineered to take the easy way out every damn time, not realizing that the easy way out is typically a short-term answer. The hard way will require more effort up front, but will pay off in the long term. That's not the way we our brains work, though. We are wired for the hear and now, the quick payoff. That doesn't mean we should give up; it means we just have to work a little harder.

My favorite quote in the piece, however, was this telling bit.
And for that, Biderman offers no apologies. "Humans aren't meant to be monogamous," he says. So would this free-thinking CEO mind if his own wife used his site? "I would be devastated," he says.

Right. "Hey, if other people want to do it? No big deal. My wife? Oh, my God, what?!"

The "humans aren't meant to be monogamous" line gets thrown out a lot and I don't get it. Well, I mean I do. Some people don't want to be monogamous and they are looking for a justification. There are lots of things humans have an inclination to do that we don't condone. How many times have you felt like physically throttling someone who made you mad? This is a feeling people regularly have; it is a deeply rooted feeling natural to humans. Does this mean we allow people to use violence willy-nilly to solve their problems? Not that I know of.

The whole point of civilization is to overcome our primal urges, to rise above ourselves and be better than our base egos. The excuse of "that's just how we're made" is ridiculous and anyone who uses it should be punched in the face.


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