Shock to the System

Britains are concerned about the spread of Tasers amongst their law enforcement officers. Here in America, Tasers are becoming very widespread amongst police and security forces. Our cultures are quite different when it comes to weapons, though, and I can see where the Taser would be a tougher sell there. It is an excellent tool, but it is easily abused and training needs to be rigorous and thorough for anyone carrying one.

As I wrote a few months back, I did get certified to carry a Taser since I occasionally pick up relief shifts for the security department at my hospital. Getting certified did include getting getting shot with the probes and taking the full five-second ride. I even have it on video.



Yes it is the most painful thing I have ever done. I will certainly be very cognizant of what will happen if I make the decision to draw and employ it.

And, though it is not funny if the Taser needs to be used in the course of the job, it can be very amusing to watch people volunteer to take a hit with it. More amusing than my jolt in the video above is this tough guy's valiant attempt to shotgun a beer before the Taser knocks him down. Comedy gold.

Boys Just Make a Mess of Things

An interesting new study says that single-sex schools are good for girls, but not as good for boys who do better in mixed classes. There hasn't been much scientific research in this area, so it is fascinating to see some hard data.

The question is, then, what to make of it? Obviously we can't send girls to girl-only schools and boys to mixed schools. It doesn't quite work out. An interesting compromise might be to have boys and girls on the same campus. In the morning they go to single-sex classes, but in the afternoon they go to classes together. I wonder how that might work out.

No More Batteries?

If this pans out, it could drastically alter our economy and our lives. The company's claims are rather spectacular and there hasn't been much in the way of hard proof, so I remain doubtful, but it is exciting nonetheless.

What Men Want

I love the headline for this story on CNN: Men Want Hot Women, Study Confirms. Similar to a story I linked to before about "fires" and "warming," I remain skeptical of this. It's going to take a lot evidence for me to buy into this outlandish theory.

Beyond the blindingly obvious, though, there are some interesting findings in the study.

Oh, the Drama...

Sometimes I almost feel like I'm drafting a soap opera when I'm writing about personal matters especially when it comes to dating. I suppose that's half the fun, though, right?

I went out with Katie Joy on Saturday. As I wrote before going to a movie turned into going to church, dinner and then the movie. Services started at 4:30, so I picked her up a few minutes after 4. She goes to Faith Chapel, a Four Square church and the largest church in town. There was upwards of 1000 people at the service we attended and construction is being done on a massive new worship center. I knew what to expect and I'll post more thoughts on the service and church in another post (especially since I went to another not so dissimilar church the next day), but suffice to say for now that I was completely disengaged on the level of worship and coming to know God. My interest during the service was focused on studying the church. What does the church look like? What sort of sermon does the pastor give? What kind of words does he use? What is the music like? It's one thing to read about these things, but it is another thing to actually be there. On that level, it was quite fascinating.

Her parents and siblings were there. I met them all on my first date with Katie Joy, but I wasn't expecting them to be there. Not only that, but she said her parents were going out to dinner after the service and she wanted to join them. With a silent groan, I said "okay" and we met them at JBs, a quiet little restaurant that I remember visiting frequently while young (often after church), but have visited maybe once in the last six or seven years. Katie Joy's siblings also came, but her sister left before too long to meet some friends.

This is the first time I have interacted much with her family. Her brother, Jeremy is a snot-nosed brat. If his parents hadn't been there, I likely would have punched him in the face. I kept telling myself that he is only fifteen, but still, a sound beating would do wonders for him. Her mother, Connie, is very nice. She seems to be a simple, quiet woman. Her father, Curt, was also nice and seemed intelligent. Somehow politics came up. How politics came up at my first dinner with her parents is beyond me, but I was sweating a bit. Katie Joy mentioned that September 2 was the anniversary of the longest filibuster in Senate history. In response to his questions, I was trying to explain to Jeremy what a filibuster was, who Strom Thurmond was, and why he was filibustering. Curt was quick to jump in a make a comment about Democrats also being racist and not supporting legislation for desegregation. I didn't know what to say for a second. I had not mentioned anything about conservatives, liberals, Republicans, Democrats, left, or right. I just said that Mr. Thurmond supported segregation and was trying to stop the passage of the Civil Rights Act. Thankfully it didn't go anywhere else. I enjoy talking about politics, but I didn't feel like getting into an argument with Katie Joy's father about it.

Next, we were off to the movie. We had decided to see Becoming Jane, a story about Jane Austen that attempts to fill in some blanks in her life. It was a very good movie. In the row in front of us was one of those people that feels a need to talk to the movie. At one point he hollered, "Make your move!" and it was all I could do not to laugh uncontrollably. Even more amusing later in the movie was a shout about "Germans." There was lots of muttering throughout, but those were the two funniest moments.

The crazy old man was not the only amusement during the movie. Part way through, I casually reach my hand over to hers and start to hold it. She giggles, pulls away, and whispers, "What are you doing?" If we hadn't been sitting in a movie theater, I would have said, "What the hell do you think I'm doing?" As it was, I just smiled and continued watching the movie. I couldn't help but think of Top Gun and Slider's remark, "Crash and burn, eh, Mav?" I didn't think holding hands on our third date was rushing things, but what do I know?

After the movie, I dropped her off at her car which was outside of the place she works. She said she had a good time and drove off. I had a good time, too, although I'm not sure if our relationship is going to go anywhere. No, not because she wouldn't let me hold her hand, but because I'm not sure we have similar visions for our futures. Maybe I'm wrong; I don't know. It's just a feeling.

Secret. Secret. I've Got a Secret

PostSecret

I know some people who feel this way. It's sad that we are always harder on ourselves than other people because we fear their rejection. The people who truly love you won't judge you.

UPDATE: Fixed image problem. I need to preview more often before I post.

Clinton vs. Obama

Oooh...lots of matchups today. This one about Hillary Clinton's and Barack Obama's views on Cuba. Clinton thinks we need to maintain our current position on Cuba (trade embargo, travel restrictions, etc.) while Obama believes we need to change this because it has proven so effective. This seems to be a cornerstone of Clinton's campaign, a mindset that we don't need change, the old ways work just fine (as long as it's a Democrat at the helm, of course), and is one of the reasons I can't support her as President. Of all of the candidates so far, I think Obama is the best one to heal our nation after the disastrous Bush II presidency.

Breast Feeding vs. Bottle Feeding

It is stories like this one that make me jaded and cynical about politics. Money rules the day.

You have to register to read the link above. You can read about it here in a more colorful version.

"Makes you wonder, you know?"

Sting reflects on his career.

Space Invaders

Check out this video. Who knew Ronald Reagan was a closet Watchmen fan?

Religion vs. Science

It baffles me at times that people can so vigorously attack science because it doesn't jive with their religious beliefs. Michael Lemonick, science writer for Time, recently had a post on his blog about some recent fossil discoveries and what they may mean for our current understanding of evolution. It is not an earth-shattering discovery, but one that could mean a minor revision of the time line we have now. Of course this brings out the creationists in force. How people can be so ignorant in this day and age is perhaps something I will never completely understand. These people are no different from those who excommunicated Galileo for his heathen beliefs. In fact I'm reminded of the people in the following video. They both have about the same level of understanding of science.



There doesn't need to be a divide between science and religion. I happen to believe in God. I also believe that science is a wonderful tool for understanding this incredible world God has created. Most scientists will tell you they do not have all of the answers and are not trying to disprove the existence of God. I'm sure that dealing with some of these rabid fanatics makes them wish they could, though. Hell, I almost wish I could just to see the look on their faces, but, then I am feeling spiteful today.

The Future

While I've had a broad outline of my plans after I get my bachelor's degree - teach, work in a think tank/policy research center, get my graduate degree - I haven't thought too much about the fine details. That may have changed.

I recently read something about an organization called Teach for America. They recruit people, most commonly recent graduates, and send them into some of the most impoverished schools in America. The contract is for two years and the teachers earn scholarships for graduate school. This sounds fantastic. While it will probably be two years before I graduate, plenty of time to look at many opportunities, this one is going to be high on my list of choices.

Whither Have I Come?

Over the last year I have been thinking about my roots a lot. Where have I come from? What were my ancestors like? Where did they come from? My family has never been close to extended relatives. In fact, I barely know any outside my direct family. When I was younger it never seemed like a big deal, but lately I have felt a desire to know more and to be able to pass that on to my children.

Next year, with the money from my tax return I am going to buy a digital camcorder. I want to begin interviewing members of my family about their life, their memories. I also want to record an annual interview with my siblings, my children, and my nieces and nephews. I think I will do it around Christmas time since that seems to be the easiest time to get everyone together and the perfect time of year for such a project. I want to pass those movies down to my kids and their kids and their kids and so on. I think modern technology gives us a wonderful opportunity here.

I am also going to begin researching my family genealogy. My father has done some work on his family and he gave me the binder of materials he has collected. He has managed to trace a part of his mother's family back to the late 17th century. It is very exciting and I'm looking forward to this. It is a long term project, of course, but one that should prove fascinating.

My Life in Pictures

Just a reminder to friends and family that I do have an online photo album. I have recently uploaded a bunch of photos, too, so check 'em out. You can make comments about them, as well.

Another One Bites the Dust

I finished reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova last night. In fact I stayed up much later than I should have because I couldn't put it down. Taking place in three time periods, it is the story of a girl who finds a strange document in her father's library. When she asks him about it, he begins to tell her a strange story about that most famous of vampires, Dracula.

Much of the story is told through old letters and historical documents. The amount of historical detail is amazing. Kostova makes the settings in her book, primarily Eastern Europe, come alive. She also cleverly weaves the stories from each of the three time periods together building toward a very suspenseful climax. This was a very enjoyable read.

The one problem with the book is the sheer number of coincidences. I'm normally forgiving of these because often if they were removed you wouldn't have a story at all. However, Kostova really stretches suspension of disbelief at times with the sheer number of coincidences. Because the book is a mystery, I kept hoping that some explanation for some of them would be proferred, but, alas, such was not meant to be.

I did like the book, though, and intend to buy my own copy (I borrowed this from Shawna) eventually. I look forward to more books from Kostova.

Geeks Are Good

We're going to save the world.

US Americans

I know this video has been all over the web and on late night talk shows, but I couldn't resist posting it here as well.



How beautifully ironic that in a question about education in America, Miss South Carolina demonstrates our education problems in this country. That, and the problems you get when you create a society that says it's okay to float by on your looks.

Fundamental Mistakes

Hilzoy has a devastating post on the Dish examining the mindset of Bush and his advisors on Iraq.

First, if it's true that "a fundamental error is a sure sign of not caring", then I think we have to conclude that neither George W. Bush nor any of the advisors he listened seriously to really cared about winning in Iraq. Some of their errors, even egregious ones, are not necessarily fundamental in this sense. But if ever there was a fundamental mistake, the failure to plan for the occupation of Iraq has to count as one.

Indeed.

Girls Just Want to Have Fun

Of course the games girls like the most involve playing with the minds of boys. I'm not sure why we put up with it exactly, other than...well, I guess we like it. *sigh*

Katie Joy volunteered on Tuesday, so I swung by and talked to her. I asked her when we could go out again and you'd think I'd asked her to solve Fermat's last theorem. She smiled and laughed as she said, "Well, I'm busy that night," and "That night won't work," and so on. I think we went on like that for twenty minutes before I said, "You tell me what you want to do and when." She suggested a movie and asked me to see what was playing.

She was volunteering again today. I printed out movie times for all of the theaters in town and we talked about what to see. We finally decided on Becoming Jane. That was fairly easy. We (she) still had to figure out when we were going to go. She pulls out her color-coded schedule and tries to figure out the "best night." She finally decides that tomorrow (Saturday) will work. I was starting to wonder if I would have look up movie times for the next week by the time she decided. I'm sure she finds this all wildly amusing.

That wasn't it, of course. She wanted to go to the 7:00 show which was fine with me. I said I would pick her up, but then she started going on about working and church. Katie Joy asked if I would go to church with her. Afterward, we could do dinner and then go to the movie. I found myself agreeing before I thought about it too much. I knew if I did start thinking about it, I would probably say, "No thanks."

Katie Joy is intelligent, but I also think she is naive about many things. It seems like she has led a very sheltered, charmed life. Maybe she hasn't, but I don't think my insight into people has failed me here. I almost get the sense that while she understands intellectually that their are different beliefs than hers in the world, she doesn't quite grasp that those beliefs are very real to many people. We were talking about school and I mentioned my upcoming class, God and World, examining the views of God/god/deities in religions throughout the world. The first thing she asked me was, "Well are you going to have to read the Bible?" Her tone of voice almost turned her question into "The only book you need to read is the Bible."

Anyway, my date, I mean "hanging out," tomorrow with Katie Joy is church, dinner, and a movie. Even if going to her church is not the first thing that comes to mind when I think of something fun to do, I'm sure I will enjoy the evening. She is fun to be around even when she is playing her female games.

Back to School

It's that time of the year and I will be starting classes again myself in October. I have Introduction to the Old Testament, an 8 week class, beginning that month and God and World, again 8 weeks long, which starts in November. I am excited to get back into the mix. I checked my records and I am officially a junior now; I have 66 credits. I'm hoping to add 33 more in the coming year. Slowly, but surely I'm getting there. The light at the end of the tunnel may be you...is just a freight train coming your way...is starting to appear.

I hope that doesn't mean I have to grow up. I don't think I want to do that. One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis. "When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

A Topic Close to My Heart

Time recently had a cover story on child geniuses and the problems they face in school. As one of those kids who never struggled in school, never felt challenged, and never felt like I fit in, I have a first-hand account of what life is like for people like this.

AS A CULTURE, WE FEEL DEEPLY ambiguous about genius. We venerate Einstein, but there is no more detested creature than the know-it-all. In one 1996 study from Gifted Education Press Quarterly, 3,514 high school students were asked whether they would rather be the best-looking, smartest or most athletic kids. A solid 54% wanted to be smartest (37% wanted to be most athletic, and 9% wanted to be best looking). But only 0.3% said the reason to be smartest was to gain popularity. We like athletic prodigies like Tiger Woods or young Academy Award winners like Anna Paquin. But the mercurial, aloof, annoying nerd has been a trope of our culture, from Bartleby the Scrivener to the dorky PC guy in the Apple ads. Intellectual precocity fascinates but repels.

I loved learning, but I hated school. I convinced my high school administrators to let me graduate a year early, but even that was a joke. I could have easily had a college degree by then if I had been given the chance. Interestingly, the article noted a study that showed that kids allowed to skip grades do not suffer socially as has long been thought. In fact, they turn out better than those who are not permitted to skip ahead.

Gael, a math teacher, began to research giftedness and found that high-IQ kids can become isolated adults. "They end up often as depressed adults ... who don't have friends or who find it difficult to function," she says. Actually, research shows that gifted kids given appropriately challenging environments--even when that means being placed in classes of much older students--usually turn out fine. At the University of New South Wales, Gross conducted a longitudinal study of 60 Australians who scored at least 160 on IQ tests beginning in the late '80s. Today most of the 33 students who were not allowed to skip grades have jaded views of education, and at least three are dropouts. "These young people find it very difficult to sustain friendships because, having been to a large extent socially isolated at school, they have had much less practice ... in developing and maintaining social relationships," Gross has written. "A number have had counseling. Two have been treated for severe depression." By contrast, the 17 kids who were able to skip at least three grades have mostly received Ph.D.s, and all have good friends.

The biggest problem our schools have is that they don't teach to individuals; they teach to the mass in the middle. No Child Left Behind only exacerbates this. What is needed, and what I envision in the school I want to open some day, is an individual curriculum based on each child's talents and desires. That is the only way to ensure each child can develop their full potential whether they are a genius or not.

UPDATE: Fixed formatting.

A Last Minute Stay

My brother, Shawn, has decided to hold off on selling the house for two years. I'm a bit shocked, I must say. While he has said a few times that the money is not his main reason for selling (it is the "burden" of owning it and Mom), he was just saying two days ago that he needed the money to make it in Missoula. The problem is that he really doesn't know what he needs. Love, or what he thinks is love, has clouded his mind and being with his girlfriend is all he can think about. I know exactly what he is thinking and feeling right now. I went through the same thing when I was younger. I just hope he learns more quickly than I did what is wrong with his current path.

I know my Mom is happy, but I can't help but feel that on a certain level this just prolongs the agony. Two years is not a long time and before you know it the time will be gone and once more my mother will faced with the soul-crushing experience of parting from a life-long dream. Perhaps something will change in two years. Who knows? I hope that whatever happens a decision can be reached that is not too painful for my mom.

In the meantime, it might get a little hairy making ends meet here. Shawn wants to be free of all responsibilities here including contributing to the house payment. Mom and I would be drained to the breaking point if we had to pay for everything on our own, so we are talking about finding someone who wants to rent a room. The obvious first choice would be one of my sisters, but I don't think that is feasible. Sheena, while deeply unhappy with her current boyfriend in many ways, in all likelihood does not have the strength of will or desire to leave him. Sharie is living here, but has not been subtle about her desire to leave as soon as possible. Shawna will not live here as long as Sharie is, but even after Sharie leaves, I don't think she would want to move back. Shawna is too antsy and she feels like a "loser" living with her mother.

That means Mom and I will have to look elsewhere and I can't say I'm excited about the idea. I'm not so worried about finding a decent person who pays the rent on time as I am having a stranger move in. I'm a fairly private person. The notion of a stranger living here, eating here, hanging out here is somewhat unnerving. We'll see, I suppose.

I am happy that Mom does not have to face moving out now. I hope everything works out down the road.

Recent Viewings

I have watched two fantastic movies in the last week, Pan's Labyrinth and The Fountain

Pan's Labyrinth is a Spanish movie from director Guillermo del Toro. A young girl visits a dark, fantasy kingdom to escape her tumultuous life as the step-daughter of a sadistic army captain battling rebels in 1940's Spain. Make no mistake, this is a fairy tale. It's not the Disney fairy tales we're used to these days, though. It is more akin to the older fairly tales, those that were dark and not always pleasant. And dark it is. There is a lot of graphic violence, but del Toro never makes it feel gratuitous. This is a story of good and evil and the evil is certainly very evil. Ofelia's journey to reclaim her birthright as the princess of a magical kingdom is heart-wrenching especially since del Toro leaves the reality of the kingdom ambiguous. Is Ofelia making it all up in her mind because her life is so disturbing or is it a real place? Bonus points for that, the rich cinematography (fantastic use of color), and for the beautiful, haunting score. Definitely one of the more enchanting movies I have seen in awhile. Highly recommended.

I also very much enjoyed The Fountain, though I can see why it was very divisive to critics and viewers. It is not a movie easily digested. Tom/Tomas/Tommy is a man unwilling to accept death and journeys through time searching for a "cure." Their are three time periods in the story - past, present, and future - and Aronofsky weaves them together in a non-linear fashion. The first half of the movie can be tricky to follow as you only feel like you have a partial grasp on the full extent of events. By the end, though, I was blown away at the power of the story. What begins as the story of a man battling the age-old villain of Death becomes...well, you'll just have to see it for yourself. Hugh Jackman does an incredible job; I feel he is one of the best actors working right now (see also The Prestige) and doesn't get enough recognition for it. Darren Aronofsky is also someone to watch. He has a very unique vision. I think that even if this is not a movie you like, Aronofsky deserves credit for making a movie quite unlike most churned out of Hollywood these days. I wish more movies aimed this high.

"...because it is right."

Hilary Bok (Hilzoy) has a post on The Daily Dish examining Obama's foreign policy views. It lays out clearly some of the reasons why I think Obama is the best candidate in the race right now.

Missing You

I took my daughters home last night. They had been staying with me since the 17th. I won't see them for two weeks because their mother is taking them on vacation to South Dakota and they won't be back until next Sunday. It's hard not being around them more. I miss them terribly, especially knowing how horrible their home life is. For those parents who do live with their children, count your blessings and don't take your moments with them for granted.

Weekly Secret

I chose a more amusing one this week than usual.



PostSecret

Bushville

It is increasingly obvious that Bush does not inhabit the universe the rest of his do. No, Bush along with his closest advisers and the devout neo-cons live in a parallel universe, one that is black and white, one in which Bush is the good king struggling against the forces of darkness, one in which Bush can do no wrong, one in which Bush can rewrite history. His speech yesterday is a blatant example of this. It's unbelievable that someone could claim that if we had stayed in Vietnam, we would have been better off because we would have prevented a lot of suffering and death and prevented a loss of "American credibility." It is almost universally understood that Vietnam was a major blunder of American foreign policy. For Bush to be giving a speech implying we should have "stayed the course" in Vietnam is one more sign of his residence in an alternate reality, one I've dubbed Bushville. Joe Klein's reaction is here and Andrew Sullivan responds here.

Because I Said I Would

My sister, Shawna, is very, ah, attentive to fashion and what people are wearing. I told her I would post a link to this article for her.

"What does that say about you?"

I met Katie Joy for ice cream Monday night after she got off work at 8:30. She works at the Bible Book Store, either location here in town. That night it was at the Heights store, so we met at Baskin Robbins which is in the same parking lot as the BBS. We "hung out" for two hours talking about all sorts of things. I had a good time. She's fun to talk to and makes me laugh. Funniest moment of the night - She's complaining about all of the mosquito bites she has and says she they seem to really flock to her. I say, "Maybe it says something about you that parasites and bloodsuckers are really attracted to you." She replies with, "What does that say about you?" Yeah, yeah. I walked, nay, ran right into that one. We both got a good laugh out of it.

My Mom Would Not Approve

Fundamentalism is primarily a reaction to modernity. There is nothing wrong with attempting to figure out how your religious beliefs demand you live in our ever-changing world. The problem with most strains of fundamentalism is that they answer the question with fear. Fear of change. Fear of new ideas. Since 9/11 our country has become very familiar with Islamic fundamentalism (well, we think we are familiar with it anyway. I dare say most people have little to no understanding of it, but I digress), but Christian fundamentalism is a powerful movement in our nation and in many ways makes a bigger impact on our lives than Islamic fundamentalism.

Check out this article. The Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary is now offering a degree in homemaking and even better, it is for women only. These women can take classes in cooking, sewing, and the "value of a child." No doubt they are also told to "graciously submit" to their husbands as the Southern Baptists have said they needed to in the past.

There is nothing wrong with classes for these kinds of subjects. They are valuable skills and I'm sure many people would like to take classes like this in college. But why are they limited to women? Because the fundamentalists are scared of our changing society, one in which women are empowered to join the workforce and be the equal of men. They see problems in society and assume that if we just did things "the way they used to be" then everything will be fixed and we'll live happily ever after. It's looking at the past through rose-colored glasses.

The fact of the matter is that gender roles have changed in Western society. The sharp divide has blurred and men can now be found staying at home raising the children and women can be CEOs. Do we have problems in our society with divorce and families? While there may be disagreement as to its extent, I'm not sure you would find many people who would say there is no problem at all. I don't think giving women degrees in homemaking is going to solve this.

"A room without books is like a body without a soul."

I've been doing a lot of reading lately with my spare time. I finished Song of Kali by Dan Simmons. The back of the book gave a lot of hype about how scary and terrifying it was. I've read lots of blurbs and rarely are they accurate. I've read a few books by Simmons and I've enjoyed them all, but I didn't expect to be scared by this book. I wasn't, in truth, but I was deeply disturbed by it. It is about an editor of a small, literary magazine who journeys to Calcutta to investigate the story of a poet who is releasing new poetry eight years after he was supposed to have died. Against the advice of his partner, he takes his wife and child, and what happens is beyond reckoning. The worst part of the book, what makes it so disturbing, is that there is no logic, no rationality, behind anything, not even thinly-veiled, barely plausible fiction logic. Many of the images have been seared in my mind and linger there haunting me. I intend to travel around the world some day, and I do want to visit Calcutta, but forever will I view it through the lens of Dan Simmons' Song.

The next book I picked up and just finished today was Mystic River by Dennis Lehane. It was also haunting, though in a different way. It was heart-breaking. I saw the movie once when it came out, but not since, so, while I remembered the broad strokes of the story, I had forgotten many of the details. It all came slamming back as I read this page turner. The three main characters were so vividly depicted that I could almost forget they were not real. Lehane does a fascinating job of peeling back the layers of the human psyche and leaving it exposed, raw and unflinching. The ending is depressing, but ambiguous and not at all easy. I've read two other books by Lehane, but this towers above them.

I finished another book today, the one I had been reading to my daughters, Watership Down by Richard Adams. I had read this before, but it has been a long time. As I mentioned before, a book about a warren of rabbits does not exciting sound, but this book is amazing. My daughters loved it and I have to admit I was a little choked up at the end. Like all good authors, Adams makes you connect with his characters and they become your friends and family before it is over. Anyone who enjoys a story dealing with love, hardship, friendship, adventure, and overwhelming odds should run to the bookstore and get a copy of this book.

I'm not sure what I am going to read next, but I have more than a few on my shelf that I haven't yet read, so I'll find something.

UPDATE: Fixed typo.

Vacation!

I am taking the rest of the week off from work. My daughters are spending the week with me. We don't have any big plans; we're just going to hang out. I'm looking forward to that and not having to deal with people at work who are special and need to remind me of that so that I treat them accordingly. I don't know how so many people get the entitlement mindset, but it is prevalent. To them I give the words of Tyler Durden: "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else." In fact, I think that is the new Quote of the Week.

Dinner Date Cancelled

Well, dinner with Katie Joy's parents has been cancelled. She called me today and said she got stuck working tonight, so she would not be joining them for dinner. That saves me from having to answer questions like, "Do you like making the baby Jesus cry, Shane? Because that's what happens when you don't go to church every week." For now, anyway. Her family eats dinner together every Monday night, so I'm sure at some point I will be sucked back in.

We are going at for ice cream after she gets off work, though. I guess that's still safely in the realm of hanging out.

As an aside, the Blogger text editor tried to tell me that "cancelled" was misspelled and that it should be "canceled." I guess no one has told the Blogger people that we speak English in this country, not the foul Commie tongue.

Miracle of Birth Occurs for 89 Billionth Time

Congratulations to my friend Jeromy and his wife, Debbie. On Friday they added Matthew Macrae to their family. He was five weeks early and is still in the NICU, but is doing fine. I know Jeromy and Debbie are thrilled about the new addition to their family. They are great parents, nay, great people and I'm excited thinking about the wonderful family they are building.

Here is Matthew:



And here is Jeromy, holding his son, Elijah, in the NICU with Matthew:

Backwards People

I always knew there was something wrong with lefties. Dr. Sanjay Gupta had a post on his blog recently about some studies done on southpaws.

From Those Who Have Been There

The New York Times also has an article about the Iraq War written by seven NCOs who have done tours there. If only we had leaders willing to listen rather than attempt to force the world to conform to their narrow view.

Torture

Andrew Sullivan has been doing a fantastic job of chronicling our wonderful administration's attempts to justify torture and the ramifications of it. This chilling post about the mental condition of Jose Padilla should be enough to make any sane American outraged. If a Democratic president had done this, you can be sure a Republican Congress would have implemented impeachment proceedings.

Um...Err...

The New York Times has an article about an interesting new book which examines speaking and language gaffes. It, of course, mentions our fearless leader, Big Brother, so I'll also link to Slate's wonderful collection of Bush's verbal bunglings. It's great to read when you need a little pick me up.

Not Often Enough

I went out tonight with my brother, Shawn, and sister, Shawna. We played pool, listened to music, and had a few drinks - alcohol for them, a now rare Pepsi for me. It was nice. My siblings, myself included, have drifted apart over the years and these moments are too few and far between. I am just as guilty as they are and I need to do better at connecting with them.

It's funny how this can so easily happen to a family. There was no dramatic event that triggered this. It just happened. I don't want us to continue with the attitude so perfectly if inadvertently phrased by my sister, "Family's important, but..." I'm going to work harder at repairing these relationships; I hope my siblings will as well.

Small Victory

I finished watching Lord of the Rings with my daughters today. We watched Fellowship last week, Two Towers last night, and Return of the King today. They loved it. Erica was a bawling mess at the end of it. Shaena was asking me questions to get more details about all sorts of things. I was very happy.

It was only a month ago, or so, that I mentioned watching LotR with them and they quickly vetoed the idea. They have mentioned before that it is evil and invites demonic influence into one's life. I knew that they would like it and I have made a lot of progress with them in the last year about this matter and have been able to get them to read books and watch movies that they never would have before. I knew LotR would be no different and that I would probably have to "trick" them into watching it.

I didn't trick them exactly. Last week I told them that we could watch a movie after they did their chores. We sat down on the couch and they were telling me some movies they wanted to watch. I had all ready put Fellowship in the DVD player and told them that I had picked one out. I hit play and waited nervously for their reaction. When "Lord of the Rings" appeared on screen, I was looking back and forth at them waiting for some sort of reaction, a comment, a look, anything. Nothing, actually, as they sat there rapt. When it was over, they were very excited and started bugging me to watch the next one. Unfortunately, it was late and they had to go home, so I told them they would have to wait. One of the first things they said to me when I picked them up yesterday was, "When can we watch the next part of Lord of the Rings?" I was very proud of them.

For me it is another small victory in my attempt to broaden their horizons and question the things they hear from their mother and their church. I still worry about it all the time, but moments like these make me feel better.

Coming Soon - Captain and Katie Joy Date #2: Meet the Parents

Katie Joy called me back yesterday. I admit I was feeling the all too human "Is she going to call me back? Maybe she had a horrible time. Maybe I made a really bad impression." Aren't irrational emotions great. I wasn't panicked, but I was starting to wonder. Women do that on purpose, I'm sure.

We talked about mundane things for a few minutes and then I asked her when I could take her out again. She laughed and then paused. I get a little nervous wondering what's coming. Then she tells me she isn't "really dating" right now and hasn't for awhile. She feels that you date someone to see if you want to marry the person and she's not ready to get married right now because she wants to finish school right first and that will take at least three more years, and yadda, yadda, yadda. I made a crack about now having to cancel my plans to propose to her this weekend. She laughed but said again that she doesn't want to date anyone right now, just hang out with her friends. I said I didn't want to get married right now, either, and asked her when we could hang out again then. After thinking for a second, she said, "I'm having dinner with my parents and family on Monday. Do you want to come over?"

What! A million thoughts ran through my mind, like "How did we go from 'hanging out' to 'dinner with parents.'" Somehow, foolishly or gallantly, with almost no hesitation, I said, "Okay." She also told me that if we are going to "hang out" (yes, I heard the quotes in her voice) she wants me to seriously consider going to church. I just said, "We'll see."

So, now I am wondering about dinner on Monday. It will be interesting, I'm sure, if nothing else. I'm imagining all sorts of questions like, "So, Shane, why do you hate church? Are you down with Satan?" or "Do you always watch porn on your first dates?" or "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" Well, the last question would be cool, anyway. And, yes, I'm being snarky, not serious or judgmental. It will still be an, uh, interesting evening to be sure.

As to the church comment, I'm not sure. I know it's very important to her, but rather than just getting blanket demands, I would like to talk to her about church. I'm not sure she understands that even though I am not a regular attendee of a church, I am very serious about my Christian beliefs and do try to live them rather than just believe them. I don't remember Jesus intoning anything along the lines of "And, lo, ye will attend yon church weekly lest ye feel the flames of the fiery pits licking thy feet and the prick of the great Satan's sharp fork of pitch in thy belly." If our relationship does become serious, our religious differences will be something we will have to really talk about.

But, I guess we're not dating right now. We're just "hanging out" which apparently means dinner with her parents and attending church. You learn something new everyday if you pay attention.

Great Movies

Another cross-post from my family blog:

I have a harder time narrowing down favorite movies than favorite songs. I'm not going to try to number these or rank them.

Dead Poet's Society - I don't like this movie because I want to be a teacher, but it helps. I have always preferred Robin Williams in his more dramatic roles than in his comedies and he really shines here. I love the journey the boys go on and you know that the events in the movie will have an impact on the rest of their lives. Favorite Character - Todd Anderson, the shy, insecure guy always resonated with me. Favorite Moment - The end of course when Todd stands on his desk, saying, "Oh Captain! My Captain!" as Mr. Keating is leaving the classroom. Most of the students then follow suit. A very powerful moment. Memorable Quote - Everybody knows "Carpe diem," so I'll go with "No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world."

Braveheart - I saw this three times in the theater. This flick really made me think about heroism and revenge and fighting for what you believe in. On top of the great story was the incredible music which is one of the scores that got me into film music. James Horner is the man. Favorite Character - As cool as William Wallace was, Stephen is my favorite character. He taught me that every story can be even better with an insane Irishman. Favorite Moment - At the very end, after Robert the Bruce asks the army to fight with him, Hamish steps forward and with a cry flings Wallace's sword toward the English. It spins through the air as the music rises into a heroic, but mournful crescendo. The English captain shakes his head. The Scots cheer and charge for battle. Memorable Quote - The last line of the movie: "In the Year of Our Lord, 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields of Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets; they fought like Scotsmen, and won their freedom."

The Mission - As much as I love this movie and even with the hopeful note at the end, this is one of those movies that almost makes me hate my fellow humans. The scenes at the end as the church and village burn and the helpless villagers are being slaughters, all for political gain, just rips my heart out. I like that this movie does not give easy answers. Mendoza chooses to fight; Gabriel does not and neither one lives. Who was right? Which path was the right one? Which one would I choose? I love a movie that forces me to think and does not draw conclusions for me. It is haunting. This movie is also helped by an incredibl score. Morricone outdid himself here. Favorite Character - Gabriel. His passion and dedication to his beliefs and to helping others are inspirational. Favorite Moment - The child at the end picking up the remnants of a musical instrument before climbing into a boat with other children and heading away from the carnage. It is hopeful, but so depressing. Memorable Quote - Gabriel arguing with Mendoza about how to deal with the coming conflict: "If might is right, then love has no place in the world. It may be so, it may be so. But I don't have the strength to live in a world like that, Rodrigo."

Moulin Rouge! - I saw this six times in the theater. Yeah, yeah, come collect my man-card if you must. I still love this movie. I don't like most romantic comedies or love stories, not because I'm not down with love, but because I don't feel genuine emotion. I don't feel the love that the characters are supposed to be experiencing. I felt in Moulin Rouge, though, in a big way. Maybe it's because love is such a crazy emotion that the over-the-top spectacle of Baz Luhrmann's images combined with perfect use of contemporary songs made this a very moving movie. I felt the connection between Christian and Satine in a way that I almost never do with film romance. Yes, it is a simple, almost childish love, but it is love. Favorite Character - Christian, of course, the "oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverished protégé" of the Children of the Revolution. And he had a "huge...talent." Favorite Moment - Christian has met Satine for the first time and is trying to recite his poetry to her while she writhes on the ground pretending to be aroused. Suddenly, he bursts into song and gives her an incredible rendition of Elton John's "Your Song." The two of them dance on cloudy rooftops beneath a smiling, singing moon. Memorable Quote - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

Fight Club - I saw this one twice at the cinema. I like strange movies with strange characters and this one fit the bill. Palahniuk's book was good, but this was a rare case of the film eclipsing its source. Fincher was the perfect director to capture the dark, morbid, humorous tone of this story. I think Pitt, Norton, and Fincher should have received Oscar nominations. This movie was a powerful exploration of the modern emasculation of men and what could happen if it swung the other way and was completely unchecked. Favorite Character - Tyler Durden is the man. Favorite Moment - The narrator beats himself up, badly, in front of his boss. Memorable Quote - "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

This is getting long, so I'll just toss out the names of a few others that I don't like any less than the few I've mentioned. Another time, I'll explore what I like about these.

Star Trek II, The Empire Strikes Back, Lord of the Rings, Magnolia, Heat, Dr. Strangelove, Blade Runner, American Beauty, Casablanca. I'm sure I am forgetting a few, but as I said, this is getting rather long-winded.

Fascinating

Headline in today's local paper, the Billings Gazette: Senators suspect link between fires, warming.

I, for one, remain skeptical of this. I have never seen or heard of any fire involved in "warming" of any kind. Whatever it is, though, I'm sure our respectable Senators will get to the bottom of it.

Gays in the Military

Armstrong: "General, how many soldier's lives is the life of one gay man worth?"
General McBrayer: "Seven."


'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

Favorite Songs

Cross-posted from the family blog:

There is no contention for my favorite song. It has been the same for awhile now, and it will take a mighty song indeed to knock it from its perch. After that it gets hazy, but I've picked two others that I often cite as numbers two and three. So, counting down...

3. Hero of the Day - Metallica. They have two versions of this song. One is the studio recording from the Load album. I enjoy this version, but if this is the only one I had ever heard, this song would only rank as "very good" instead of one of my favorites. It is the live version from the S&M album which launches this song into the stratosphere. The orchestral backing is a perfectly somber accompaniment and James' voice has become better with age as it captures the emotion of the lyrics perfectly. I have always been fascinated by heroes from fiction to real life and this song is about them. The exact meaning of the song is hard to pin down but it does deal with themes of looking for heroes in the wrong places, not seeing the real heroes that are around us, those same heroes getting beat down by life and society. Best part: Right after "So can't you hear your babies crying now?" before the last chorus as the orchestra is playing slow and somber James hollers out to the crowd, "I can't hear you!" and launches into the last verses with equal parts sadness and anger.

2. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley. I nearly cry every time I hear this song. Jeff really did have the voice of an angel. It's unfortunate he died so young. Leonard Cohen originally wrote and performed this song, and, though there have been many covers, nothing has come close to Jeff's version on his Grace album. The song is about love and relationships and emotion and ultimately sadness. Cohen made extensive use of religious imagery for this song and it just makes it all the more poignant. Best part: The final time Jeff sings, "It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah," and you feel his heart breaking.

1. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen. You knew this one was coming. Without a doubt BoRhap is my favorite song; there is no competition. Queen is my favorite band and this is the pinnacle of their career. Freddie Mercury has the one voice I like better than Jeff Buckley's. Both have great range (although, Buckley's is greater), but more than that, both inject such emotion into their singing. They are not just singing the songs, they are living them, feeling them. The over-the-top operatic bombast of this song is perfect for Freddie's voice. I love the fact that it has multiple styles and seems to be all over the place musically. It has a cappela singing, a head-banging guitar solo, the sound of a choir (even it if was just Queen overdubbed many times), heartbreaking piano playing, grandiose lyrics, and Freddie's magical vocals over all else. Whatever this song is about, and there are many interpretations, it seems that something is ending for the singer. Whether it is his life or a great romance, who knows? He is in a lot of pain and doesn't care about anything anymore. So sad. Like "Hallelujah," you don't just hear the emotion in the words, you feel it in the performance. Ah, Freddie, you will be missed. Best part: the piano softly playing at the end as Freddie sings, "Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters to me."

I suppose it says something about me that the three songs I listed are not happy, upbeat songs. I am a happy person and there are some great, feel good songs out there (The Cars, Flogging Molly), but I connect more to somber songs.

Finally

So, a month after I got Katie Joy's phone number, I went on a date with her last night. I was starting to wonder if it ever was going to happen.

We went to dinner at Jade Palace, a Chinese place here in town. I've only been there once before, but have wanted an excuse to go back. Katie Joy told me she really liked Chinese food, so this was a perfect opportunity. I picked her up shortly after 6p. She lives out of town toward Roundup. It's about 16 miles from my house (where's the transporter?). I was very excited and a bit nervous driving out there.

I met her parents, and her younger brother and sister. They all seemed nice. Mom was holding a knife when I met her; she was preparing dinner or something. Someone made a crack about her sending me a message. They laughed and so did I. It did seem straight out of a movie.

She looked very pretty, wearing a nice tank top and khakis. Her hair is dark and just past her shoulder in length. We ate dinner and sat talking for awhile before going to my place and watching a movie. After that, I took her home. She said she had a good time and I did as well. Some observations:

1) She didn't say it in so many words, but I got the impression that the fact that she is eight years younger than me (she is only 20) made her hesitant to go on a date with me. Perhaps being a divorced father of two factored into it, as well, but the age difference did seem to be somewhat of a concern to her. When I first started thinking about asking her out, it was something I thought about, too. Talking to her, though, she seemed quite mature and so I worried about it less.

2) What was more of a concern to me, and I knew this before I asked her out and had it confirmed last night, were her religious beliefs. She goes to Faith Chapel and is very involved in it. I have no problem with that. What does make me nervous is the tendency for those of the evangelical tradition to be intolerant of different beliefs. The sad part is that I believe very strongly in God and Jesus and try to keep that in the forefront of my decision making process as much as possible. It annoys me that so many Christians claim that their branch of Christianity is the one true branch and everyone else is a Hell-bound heathen. I don't know where exactly on this scale Katie Joy is, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about it.

3) Two laugh-at-Shane moments. The first was at the restaurant. After paying the bill, I went back to the table to leave a tip. When I came back, Katie Joy asked, "Did you put the tip on the wrong table?" I looked back and she said, "Yeah, you did. You put it on the table next to ours." I moved the tip to the correct table. She got a big kick out of that. I laughed, too. It's not the first, nor will it be the last time I absent-mindedly do something like that. In fact I had another moment later that evening.

I was driving her home. She made a crack about me driving "crazy" apparently because I take turns quickly. I told her I didn't want her to be scared and slowed down to 15 mph. She laughed a little, but then really started laughing when she had to tell me I was about to turn down a one-way street. I looked at the street sign and sure enough I was. I needed to turn at the next block. She was laughing hysterically and so was the pedestrian who saw it and probably saw her laughing at me.

4) She doesn't like Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. Talking earlier, she mentioned loving Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She hadn't seen MoL or Life of Brian, so we decided to watch one of them. She picked MoL, but, as it turns out, she didn't like it. Really didn't like it. She had a big problem with the sex ed skit (which includes the teacher having sex with his wife to demonstrate for the students) and the nudity in the skit in which the man gets to choose his manner of death and has a dozen topless chicks in thongs chase him off of a cliff. The nudity especially bothered her because she said she found it degrading. I told her that I don't like nudity when it's done just for titillation, but that if it has a point as it did in this movie I don't have a problem with that. She wasn't convinced by my argument. I guess I'll try to avoid watching movies with her that have topless girls.

5) I had a really good time. She said she did, too, but she's nice enough to say that even if she didn't. No, I think (hope) she did. I like her. She's smart, pretty, independent, has goals for her life, sarcastic (always a bonus), and funny. I do want to go on some more dates with her. I'll probably call her tomorrow.

Soulmates

I think my sister, Shawna, could identify with this guy.

You know I love you, Shawna, but I just couldn't resist.

A Modern Bible

I would love to get a copy of this Bible.

Tales From the Noble Library

I just finished reading The Iliad. I have wanted to read it for a long time now (along with 50 million other books) but have only just got around to it. The translation was done by Robert Fagles, a noted expert on Greek literature. His translation was easy to read and engaging.

The poem was definitely enjoyable and it is easy to see why it has survived for as long as it has. The story is epic. The characters are larger than life while still feeling human. The violence is gritty and real, indeed I'm not sure I've read about more splattering blood and guts anywhere. Few people die without a graphic depiction of the spear or sword tearing through their bodies. Philosophies of war and battle are debated and argued.

It can be dry at times. Indeed, chapter two took me awhile to get through as it was mostly a list of various captains and which army they were leading. There are times, too, when the violence is just overwhelming it becomes numbing. If I was reading late at night, the battles would sometimes start to blend together and I couldn't remember who was leading what charge and who was fighting who and who was currently winning. Overall, though, the poem moves along well and is very engaging.

One of the most striking aspects to me was the deeply tragic nature of events due to the lack of control by the human characters. They are at the mercy of the gods who scheme and manipulate everything in an attempt to achieve the outcome they desire. They take part in the fighting, disguise themselves as mortals, grant some people immunity and strength, whisk a favorite away to prevent his death. I came away feeling sorry for all of the characters, unable to do as they wish, puppets on the strings of Zeus and his cohorts. Is this a natural human feeling? I don't think anybody living today would blame their ills on Hera, but I do think many people feel that they are not in control of their lives. How sad. It must be very frustrating and the source of much anger to not feel as though you are in control of your life. While their may be some things that happen to us in the course of our lives we cannot control, I firmly believe we can control how react to those situations.

The other book I have been reading is Watership Down. I have been reading it to my daughters, a chapter or two a week, when they are here. I have read it before and it is a favorite. My girls are definitely enjoying it, too. It is a very engaging book. Unlike many books featuring anthropomorphic animals, the rabbits of Watership Down are very recognizable as rabbits. They do not dress in clothes, carry tools, and live in houses. In fact, they are almost what one would expect real rabbits to be like if one could talk to them. Highly recommended reading.

I think the next book I am going to read for myself is Song of Kali by Dan Simmons.

Old School

While borrowing a car from my friend, Jeromy, a few weeks ago I put a CD of his in the stereo, Kickin' It Old School. It has a bunch of hip-hop classics from the 80s and 90s. I'm definitely not a hip-hop/rap fan with the exception of a few songs here and there. There were two songs on the CD that I actually do like, though. Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" and Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You." Since listening to them in Jeromy's car, they've been stuck in my head, so I downloaded them from the iTunes store tonight.

I suppose my enjoyment of these hip-hop songs (and a few others like Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet" and "Lose Yourself") is because they aren't celebrating violence, drug use, and misogyny as so much of rap does. They are songs about real emotions and real moments. I can get behind songs that do that in any genre. Even country. Well, sometimes, anyway.

"Let the rain sing you a lullaby."

I think I've started a new tradition with my daughters and nieces. A month ago (six weeks?) we had a thunder storm. It was Friday evening. My daughters were over to spend the night and my nieces Alexis and Bryanna were also here. I was feeling down, not for any particular reason, but just because. I looked outside as the rain just started coming down and had a crazy thought. "How much fun would it be to go running outside right now?"

"Come on girls! Follow me," I shouted.

"Where are we going?" one of them asked.

"Outside."

"But, it's raining."

"I know," I said opening the back door and leading the four of them out into the backyard and into the rain. For just a minute all cares and worries and worldly things were forgotten. It was me, my daughters, and two of my nieces, running around the yard like fools, arms outstretched, laughing, screaming. Soaked, I led the charge back inside and we sat down for dinner.

After dinner, the rain became a torrent. Winds were gusting up to fifty miles an hour. My sister, Shawna, realized her car windows were down and ran out to roll them up. Still wet from our pre-dinner excursion, I said, "Girls, I think we better go help Shawna roll up her windows!" They cheered and we all went back into the storm.

The wind threatened to knock Alexis, only three, over. She kept saying, "The wind's messing up my hair!" I picked her up and put her on my shoulders and we ran around in circles. Of course, the five of us were not helping Shawna. We were having more fun acting like idiots. After getting very drenched this time, we ran back in the house.

Two brief but magical moments that I will never forget. For a minute all worries, fears, and cares were forgotten. Everything seemed to fade away; the world consisted of me, my daughters, my nieces, and the rain.

They have not forgotten it, either. A few weeks later, during another rainstorm, we went running into the rain again at the urging of my little ladies. And, again today, a few drops of rain began to fall and Alexis said, "Uncle Shane, let's go run in the rain!" So, of course, we did.

It's the little things in life that make it enjoyable.

Politics As Usual

Well, the upcoming presidential election is shaping up to be anything but. I had typed up a long post musing about the election and the candidates, but Firefox froze up on me and most of it was erased. I don't feel like retyping it now (it's bedtime!), but I will post some thoughts on it over the next few days. I am a bit of a political junkie for all of my cynicism about the issue.

The one candidate I can really support right now is Barack Obama. Andrew Sullivan had a great post on his blog today about a recent speech of Obama's. It is exactly the reason I find myself supporting him more and more (Obama, not Sullivan). I support Sullivan staying right where he is and writing more.

"It's waiting for the master's touch."

I picked up my car from the shop today. Was it fixed? Of course not. This mechanic, just as the last one, was unable to find the problem. It never died for them. He told me they drove it around the city a few times and left it running for a few hours three times in the shop. It never died. He tested a few parts and they checked out. He told me that without knowing what the problem was, the only thing he could really do is start replacing various parts and see if that worked. Obviously, that would be expensive and I respectfully declined his offer.

He jokingly said that my car might not like me and that maybe "it's waiting for the master's touch." When I told him that my sister's vehicle did the same thing to me the other day, he laughed, but he had that look on his fact that said, "Yeah, it probably is you, you kook."

So, I have my car back and it's still not fixed. I don't know whether to get upset or laugh at the absurdity of it.

It's a Conspiracy

There is some sort of secret car society actively working to make my life difficult.

The shop called me about my car today. They told me they were having trouble finding anything wrong with my vehicle. It started right up for them. It didn't die. The manager told me he was going to try a few more things, but he was stumped.

I've been borrowing my sister's vehicle, an Isuzu Trooper. What did it do to me tonight when I went to get dinner? That's right. It died on me. A few times. I'm just driving down the road and it dies. I got it home if barely.

Why do cars hate me?

UPDATE: Okay, the vehicle is a Toyota 4Runner, not an Isuzu. I don't know why I had that stuck in my head. Regardless of what it is, the car doesn't like me.

"I know!"

I really wonder about some churches out there.

At my job, I am responsible for everyone who comes to the hospital for business that is not a staff person. That includes vendors, contractors, and students. I put them through a brief orientation, verify their identity and employment, and keep track of them while they are here.

I also do this for clergy and parish visitors who come to the hospital to visit members of their church. More than any other group (excepting doctors), they have been the most difficult to deal with. That includes the director of our Spiritual Care department. I could go on for awhile with various stories about this, but I'll save them for another day.

A couple of months ago I gave her a list of clergy and parish visitors that had been through orientation with me. It was organized alphabetically by church and then by last name. She emailed me last week and said that was not working because "sometimes people don't know the name of the church." I wanted to ask who doesn't know, the people from the church, her and her staff, the volunteers who assist her, but I refrained. For a number of reasons, I just nod and agree whenever she says anything. Anyway, she wanted a list organized by denomination. So, I have had to go into my database and list a denomination for the nearly 200 churches I have listed.

Most are easy. If I don't know it, I can find it under the Yellow Pages of the phone book which lists churches by denomination. Sometimes, the church is not listed, however, and so I get on teh Interwebs and use the Google to find the answer. That led to an amusing find this morning.

I was looking up the Cornerstone Community church. While browsing the website of one of their branches, I found this beautiful nugget:

When one begins to study the Bible it doesn’t take long to determine what God values the most: he values himself above all else...

So apparently, God is like this guy:



I think God just became a lot cooler in my book. I do wonder about that church, though.

Is There No Truth In Beauty?

I know that this is what our fashion/beauty industry does, but it's still amazing to actually watch it in action.

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

Car Problems II: Son of Car Problems

Apparently, the feeling is mutual when it comes to my hatred of my car. The day after I wrote about it stalling on me while I was coming home from work, it did it again. Four times. In the same trip. Argh!

So, it's at the shop now. They've had it since Tuesday and I haven't heard from them, yet. I'm getting nervous that they will come back and tell me it's going to cost me some outrageous amount to get it fixed. I have such a burning desire to drive it off a cliff (without me in it).

In the meantime, I am borrowing my sister, Shawna's, vehicle. She just spent some $1500 or whatever getting it fixed. It will probably break down on me, too. I've already had the knob on the gear shift fall off and refuse to be put back on. Shifting without it is rather a pain.

Where's Scotty when I need him?

Done

I took my final exam last night for my Bible class and turned in my final paper today. Finally, I am done with all of my classes. I've been feeling burned out anyway, but this one really sapped me.

I'm taking at least a month off from school. I've been going almost non-stop for nearly a year now, so I think I've earned a break.

The Greatest Captain in the Universe

I make no secret that Captain James T. Kirk is my hero. Ever since I was young, I have looked up to him and admired his leadership, cunning, panache, his fighting style (two-fisted chop!), his ability to "turn death into a fighting chance to live." I have always wanted to be Kirk.

There's a great website, The Captain Kirk Page, dedicated to all things Kirk. One of the coolest things they have is a quiz about the good Captain. If you pass (I got 10/10, of course), then you get a diploma to prove your dedication, devotion, hero-worship to Kirk. Here's mine:



I think I'm going to frame it and hang it in my office. As if my co-workers need another excuse to call me a geek.

I also can't let this salute to Jim Kirk go without posting one of my favorite Kirk images of all time. It's from this great website and they have many similar to it.



That is so freakin' awesome. Okay. Okay. I'll post another awesome poster from the same site.



Too cool.

Anyway, I salute you Captain James T. Kirk. Perhaps someday I will be half as awesome as you.

UPDATE: You can click on the pictures to see a larger view if you are having trouble reading the captions.

Kids Are Scary

My beautiful daughter, Erica. So sweet. So innocent.

But not for long...*sigh*

Erica will be 11 this November. I found myself just staring at her a few weeks ago and it hit me. She's turning into a young woman. I'm scared to death. Kids are scary enough in their own right, but she will soon be a teenager with all of the wonderful things that brings. I'm trying to stay calm. It doesn't help, though, when she says to me earlier tonight (giddy and excited about having a friend sleep over), "My hormones are going crazy and I'm feeling frisky!"

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Good News & Not So Good News

As part of the MS study I am in, I have to go in every three months for a variety of tests. They test hand-eye coordination, memory, gross motor skills, draw blood, do an EKG, and I have an MRI every six months. It's all very exciting, especially the memory test.

I listen to a CD of a man reading numbers. They come every five seconds in the most bland, monotone voice I have ever heard. It would be a great sleep aid; sometimes I find myself drifting toward unconciousness during the test. Anyway, I have to add together the last two numbers, the voice said. So, when he says, "Eight," and then five seconds later says, "Four," I say "Twelve." The tricky part is that I have to forget the sum I just gave, e.g. 12, because when he says the next number, say "six," I have to add it to the last number he said. So, I would add 6 and 4 to say, "Ten." I remember numbers very easily, so it's typically not a problem. As long as I am in the moment that is. There have been a few times when I find my mind drifting away listening to the monotone voice and I realize I didn't hear what the voice just said. It's almost more of an exercise in mental stamina than memory.

Anyway, my neurologist just called me. He said he had two things to tell me, one not so good and one great. First, my white blood cell count is low. He said it is not uncommon for people taking interferon medications as I am, but that it does need to be monitored. I am not too low, but he wants to keep an eye on it and if it gets lower and stays there, I may have to change medications.

The second piece of news is that my MRI shows marked improvement from the last scan. He told me that he was very pleased and surprised to see such a change. I'm not cured, of course. There is no cure for MS, but it is very exciting news, nonetheless. The drugs I'm on are clearly slowing the progress of the disease and that's great. I hope other people in this study are having similar progress with their condition.

Enter Sandman

I've been very tired lately. One of the more exciting aspects of MS that I've had to deal with is extreme fatigue. It doesn't take a lot (or any, really) of physical activity for it to hit me. It just does. I take Provigil and it's certainly been a life saver; I'm not sure how I would function without it. I'd sleep my life away.

Unfortunately, it doesn't always work. The last few days I have been more tired than usual even with the drugs. Last night, I was asleep shortly after eight. It's only a little after nine tonight and I've been struggling to stay awake for the last two hours. When the fatigue hits extra hard, it is typically worse in the evening, but it does affect me throughout the day. I have to really work to find the motivation to get stuff done at work as I'd rather just close my eyes and take a long nap.

That said, I'm off to take a long nap, now. An all-nighter.

Another Postcard

Another week. More pain. Check it out.

The Miracle of Birth

Two links in honor of my new niece:

An article about the miracle of birth and a video about said miracle.

One Down. One to Go.

I turned in my final research paper and abstract today for my research writing class. I'm done with that class now. I have one more week in my Intro to the Bible class and then I am done with it. I definitely need a break from school. I've been going nonstop for a few months now, and I'm starting to feel burned out. I haven't felt very motivated and it's led to more procrastination than usual. In fact, I wrote my research paper in the last three days and I've had the last sixteen weeks to work on it. I've got a lot of writing to do for my Bible class, too, that I've been putting off. That one has been a struggle, not just because I've been feeling burned out, but because of the nature of the course. I wasn't expecting a Bible class wherein the texts told me that the Bible is the inspired word of God because it says so and people inspired by the Holy Spirit have confirmed it. That's really put a damper on my enthusiasm for the class. There is still some good information in the books, but I find myself really disinterested in the whole class now. Oh, well. I am going to attempt to avoid taking any more classes from this prof in the future.

A New Member of the Family

A few hours ago (around 9p), my sister, Sheena, gave birth to a daughter, Aryana. She is, of course, gorgeous. Her weight was 6 lbs, 2 oz and I believe her length was 18". I am excited about a potential new recruit for my ship and look forward to teaching her about Star Trek, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Dragonlance, Queen, and all that is best in life.

I do have to say though, another female? What is it with my family? I now have a mom, three sisters, an ex-wife, two daughters, and three nieces (and that's not even counting a step-mom, a number of female co-workers, a possible girlfriend, sheesh). It's starting to get lopsided here.

I Hate Cars

Okay, not really, but they can be very annoying. My car (a wonderful 1989 Ford Taurus) died on me on the way home from work today. It's the second time it has done it in the last two weeks. I think (though I am certainly not a car expert) that it is vapor-locking. It has been very hot lately and I don't typically have a lot of gas in the tank. Whatever it is, I was stuck in the middle of traffic until I could push it to the side of the road. I let it sit for ten minutes and was able to restart it. I went straight to the gas station and put a few gallons in.

Why haven't scientists developed a transporter, yet?

Dating Again, part II

Well, I called the girl whose number I got last week. We probably talked for about thirty minutes. It was a nice conversation. The bad part is that we won't be going out for dinner for a few weeks. She is going out of town for a few weeks and will not be back until the first part of August. She must have told me a half-dozen times that she is not trying to avoid me; she does want to go out. I was shaking my head, but I do believe her. Besides, I am not in a hurry or anything. I'm still anxious, though.

The Human Desire for Love and Companionship

I mentioned PostSecret recently. Well, here's a postcard from this week:




This is just one person among many millions in our country drifting through life lonely, looking for love or a companion. They're everywhere; make an effort to reach out to the people in your life and let them know they are not alone.

Constant Companion

I'm a cat guy. Dogs are cool; I have no problem with them (except for small yappers, i.e. my Mom's dog, Mia), but I just identify more with cats. The cat pictured is my buddy, Tiberius (yes, named in honor of the greatest captain ever). I adopted him from the local animal shelter a couple of years ago. He is a little more clingy than the typical cat. He frequently likes to lay on my lap (as he is now), follows me into the bathroom, sleeps with me (usually between my legs), and often just follows me around the house. Just like people, cats have their odd quirks. Tiberius does not like to be touched anywhere other than his head and neck. If you try to pet him anywhere else on his body, he will nip at you. He is amazingly good with kids, too. My niece, Alexis, loves to grab Tiberius' head and plant a big kiss on him. Most of the time he lets her do it. Usually after she does it, she says, "Uncle Shane, Tiberius loves me, doesn't he?" It's funny to watch.

I wouldn't know what to do without Tiberius now.

The Strange Dichotomy of Beauty Pageants

Stories like this make me think of things like this.

PostSecret

PostSecret is a very interesting website. I discovered it a few months ago and it has been featured on CNN and other news programs. People anonymously send the owner of the site a postcard with a personal secret on it. Every week (usually) the owner puts some of the postcards on his site for the whole world to see. I find it a fascinating look at people in our society. Many of the secrets are humorous, but many more clearly reveal some deep-seated pain. I think that in our current society, many of us have forgotten how to connect with someone. For all of the talk of cell phones, the internet, email, jet travel, and other technologies making the world smaller and allowing us to connect with more people; I think that we have forgotten how to meaningfully connect with someone. No technology can replace the intimacy and feeling that comes from being in the presence of another human being and talking with them, sharing a meal with them, or just being together.

I am very grateful that I have two people, my mother and my friend, Jeromy, that I know I could share anything with. Anything. Every human being needs that, I believe.

Dating Again

I got a girl's phone number today. I asked her if I could take her out to dinner some time and she agreed, giving me her phone number. She volunteers during the summer at the hospital I work at. I met at work about a month ago. We've flirted a bit and I finally got the courage to ask her out.

It's been about two years since I last had a date. I haven't been actively looking, not because I didn't want to date, but because it wasn't a priority and I knew I'd meet a girl I would like to date eventually. Though it hasn't been a priority, I have to admit I am very excited. And nervous.

She told me she will be out of town this weekend, so I will give her a call on Monday or Tuesday. We'll see how it goes.

It's a Wonderful Life

I will be moving soon. I suppose I should say everyone in this house will be moving soon. When my brother, Shawn, went off to college last year, I moved in with my mother to help her out as needed. Shawn and Mom co-own the house. Unfortunately, Shawn does not want the house anymore. I've known for a long time now that he feels it is a burden on him and he wants to be free of it. He also wants the equity in it. He is racking up a lot of debt and he believes that this will be a solution to that. It will, but only in the short term. He does not realize that he needs to change his spending habits if he wants to stay debt free.

This decision has been a huge blow to Mom. It has always been a dream of hers to have her own home. She has known for awhile that Shawn was growing resentful of the house, but was hoping he could grow up, mature.

Shawn has been unable to do that and I don't think he can as long as he has this house. He is having a rough time right now. Self-confidence, decision making, and confronting tough, emotional situations have always been a problem for him. The self-confidence issue has not been helped by his not having a girlfriend that lasted for more than a couple of months. Until now, anyway. His new girlfriend, Heather, has been around nearly a year, now. I would love to be happy for him, except that it is painfully obvious to me (and just about everyone else that knows him) that she is not the girl for him. She is very cold and unfriendly. She makes no effort to say anything to anyone in our family. Sometimes she will be at our house for hours without talking to anyone but Shawn (in annoying whispers). He has even admitted that she wouldn't mind if we were not around, so she could have Shawn all to herself. Everything about her screams high school. Well, she is only 19.

Shawn doesn't care, though. He is desperate for female companionship and she is desperate for someone to take care of her. He plans to move to Missoula because she is going to school there. His life is now being put on hold because the only thing he can think about now is her.

Anyway, it boils down to all of us having to move out of the house. Mom could refuse to sell, but it would just cause a huge rift between her and Shawn. I could easily help Mom make the house payment (I all ready pay some rent), but I have no way of coming up with the equity to buy Shawn out. Mom is crushed, as I said, and has shed more than a few tears in the last week. She even said she wished she had never bought the house. I wish there was something I could do. Of course I will be renting a place with her, but I want to do more. All five of her children have put her through so much in the last fifteen years. She deserves better.

Read? You mean like a book?

These are some very depressing statistics. I suppose that in our age of instant gratification, the slow pleasure that comes from books just doesn't do anything for a lot of people. I can't imagine a life without books and I've tried to instill the same love in my daughters.

Where's the Tooth Fairy?

I had a tooth pulled earlier. At a checkup a few weeks ago, my dentist told me that I had cavities in all of my wisdom teeth. Well, one of them was actually chipped and cracked. He thought then that I could still keep that tooth.

Unfortunately, 'twas not meant to be. The cavities in the other teeth were small and easily filled. The cracked tooth, however, turned out to be worse than what he originally thought. He said he could do a root canal if I really wanted, but that it would be messy and may not work. He said it would be best to pull it and I agreed. I think there was a gleam in his eye when I consented to the tooth pulling.

Now, I just need to convince the tooth fairy to leave some money under my pillow. Since it was a big tooth and not a baby tooth, I'm thinking $20 sounds reasonable.

The Greatest Actor

A wonderful homage to the greatest actor of our time and perhaps ever.

Pain

What is it about the human experience that makes us cause another human pain. I'm not talking about anything like violence or war or even teasing someone with the intent to hurt. I'm talking about the normal things people do in their lives that end up hurting someone. The things that are unintentional. Most people don't go around trying to bring pain to someone else, but it happens all of the time nonetheless. Why is that? How can so much anguish and grief come inadvertently?

Linguistic Humor

The Washington Post Mensa Invitational has regular word contests. In a recent one, readers submit a word from the dictionary; alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter; and supply a new definition. Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

11. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

12. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

13. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

14. Glibido: All talk and no action.

15. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

16. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

UPDATE: Fixed formatting.