"Worst of all Worlds"

That's what Andrew Sullivan called yesterday's Pennsylvania results for the Dems.

It doesn't change the race's dynamic or the math; but it will give Clinton just the tiniest sliver of an argument that she should not drop out. But what is striking in the exit polls is the polarization on three lines: gender, race and age. It was dead even with men; but a massive advantage for Clinton among women. The racial difference is obvious as well. But what really leaps out is age. Obama lost every cohort over 40; Clinton lost every cohort under 40. Race also affects the generations in turn: 67 percent of whites over 60 voted for Clinton - a massive 24 point advantage. Among the younger generation, there is much less racial polarization: under 30, whites split evenly. This is a fascinating result. It appears to me as the future struggling to overcome the past. On the process, I stick to my view that she needed double digits to have reason to stay in. Right now, she doesn't have it. But she won't leave. She will never leave. Ceding to someone younger is unthinkable to her. It's a form of death for her.

But here's what she does have: total shamelessness, and an absolute belief that she is the rightful nominee. Shamelessness: the appropriation of the message and even the words of her opponent; the portrayal of one of the most privileged and advantaged candidates in memory as an insurgent underdog; the eager embrace of the tactics - and message! - of the Rove right if it could help in any way; the picture of a candidate who saw a 20 - 25 point lead dissipate into single figures as a candidate for momentum. What sustains her is this deep, deep sense of entitlement and an absolute refusal to let the next generation take over. She will take this to the last day of the convention if necessary.

If Obama thinks he has a right to actually be nominated by the Clinton Democrats because he has won more votes, more states and more delegates, he is sadly mistaken. They will never let such a person win without a death struggle. And that is where the Democrats are now headed.

This is not good for the party. The superdelegates need to step in and end this, but they seem to be either scared or maneuvering for their own political gain. Isn't politics grand?

Quote of the Day

"She's winning the states that matter."

-Terry McAuliffe, Clinton campaign chairman, tonight on CNN.

Does that mean that states Obama won do not count? I'd like someone to ask her that.

The Pennsylvania Primary

CNN has projected Clinton will win in Pennsylvania's primary held today. This is not a surprise. She has held a lead there in most polls done there, though her lead has been continually shrinking. Because of that, because her victory is so close, little is going to change delegate wise. Clinton needs blow-out victories in order to be able to go to the Democratic convention and make a serious case for her candidacy. That's not happening. He has more pledged delegates, more of the popular vote, and more state victories. Her narcissism doesn't allow her to concede this race, but I can't imagine any of the superdelegates looking at the numbers and giving the nomination to Clinton. It would tear the party apart.

Unfortunately, that means we have another month of campaigning to look forward to from Clinton. I am sick of her and her husband anymore.

Dialogue on Abortion, Part III

In which my friend, Jeromy, and I talk about the big A.
Part I and Part II

I didn't expect, Jeromy, that we would have wildly divergent views, however, I do find it interesting to explore the topic.

To point 1: "Pushing to overturn Roe vs. Wade is not helpful..." I don't think that pushing to overturn Rove v. Wade has resulted in the cultural language shift surrounding the debate, as you suggest. Rather, I think that this shift in the way the argument is framed is a result of the pro-choice movement gaining even more traction in the mainstream media. We should continue to fight the Roe v. Wade decision for two reasons:

I suppose I didn't make my point clearly in that I am certainly not opposed to overturning Roe v Wade. What is not helpful in my mind is is pushing for a complete overturn of it right now. I think that it has become so entrenched that it is going to take a patient, tactical approach to get to that point. You said:

When faced with something as blatantly dark as this decision, we've got to do everything within our power to see it overturned, even if it is a David vs. Goliath battle.

I agree, but there are other ways of tackling a problem other than a heads-on approach. Abortion is certainly an issue to get fired up over, but we need to not let that blind us to ways of dealing with the issue. Attacking the issue around the edges by moving to limit abortions and educating people on this issue will be more effective in my opinion than jumping straight to overturning Roe v Wade.

I agree that we need to take these steps, along with fighting Roe v. Wade. The danger of course is that people think they have won the war by winning a few battles.

This was in response to my idea that we need to take steps to limit abortions first. No matter what the cause, though, people will almost always become complacent if it isn't affecting them directly in some manner (look at the torture issue). That is why we need leaders on this issue, people who are taking up the mantle. And I'm not just talking about someone with a national podium, but people in their families, neighborhoods, and churches who will champion the cause and make sure that people they know do not forget about the matter. Unfortunately, most people are sheep in desperate need of a shepherd.

Re: parental notification of minors wanting abortions

To point 3: Yes, yes, and yes. When I was going to college in Minnesota there was a piece of legislation before the state congress that stated that 1)women contemplating abortion needed to be informed of the possible health and psychological consequences of their "medical procedure" 2) parents of minor girls needed to be informed of their child's intentions (which is already required for nearly every medical procedure but abortion) and 3)required a 3-day waiting period.

It was easily shot down by the pro-choice lobbyists, despite a great deal of public out cry.

Was there enough "public out cry," though? Politicians are for the most part rather pragmatic and if enough of their constituents tell them what they want they are probably going to get it. They know if they do not, they may not get elected again. This is where having community leaders can help because they can get people talking about the issue and working together to tell the politicians, "This is how we feel about legislation __________ and if you don't do __________ about it, we will elect someone who will." Get enough people together and it will happen.

Re: abstinence education vs. teaching about birth control

This is an entirely different issue in my mind, but is somewhat related.

Related in that if fewer children are getting pregnant, we are going to have fewer chances for abortions.

The mere fact that our children are "educated" in school about such a deeply moral and personal issue is ludicrous. I know the immediate argument is "well, parents aren't doing it, so the school has to." I'm not sold on that argument for several reasons: school sex education has made little difference on teen pregnancy, the education system's attempts to take over on such integral issues only encourages parents to be less engaged on this issue, and it s one step closer to a homogeneous view on sex (the majority of educators appear to be pro choice, by the way).

I don't think parents need to an encouragement to be less engaged than they are. Most are not engaged whether or not their kid has sex ed in school or not. I also think that you can have a program that teaches all sides of an issue. Teachers could explain that some people do not believe in birth control or that sex is something only for married couples. I think that school is the perfect place for moral discussions as long as viewpoints are not being forced on anyone.

I'm also curious on your comment that most educators are pro-choice. Do you have anything to back that up? I haven't seen anything about that.

That said- school sex education is here to stay, so should abstinence be taught? How about this for a curriculum change- each student is given a set of questions and discussion points to take home to their parents, or somebody they respect. The students' grade is dependent upon them turning in a report detailing the discussions they have with their parents about their family's values and stances on this issue. This facilitates an important conversation, fulfills the school's perceived obligation to educate kids about sex, and allows families to retain influence over their children's views on this issue.

That sounds like a great idea, but the pessimist in me has a hard time imagining this actually working out. You mention parents not being engaged, but then want to do this? I don't think kids bringing home assignments like this is going to magically make parents become more involved with their children's education. Oh, sure, some may take the time for a meaningful discussion, but I see more of them going one of three routes.

1) "I don't have time for this. Ask your [mother, father, uncle, whoever]."
2) "Goddamn schools. What kind of assignment is this? I'm calling the administrator tomorrow. If I wanted you to know how the birds and bees worked, don't they think I would have told you all ready."
3) *embarrassed look* "Uhm, sex is, uh, well it's when a man and woman, uh, well, you know..." *gestures* "It's when they, you know, uh...come together and, well, uhm, make, uh babies. You should probably be married before you, you know, uh, do it, but if you don't, just, be, uhm, careful, okay?"

Like I said, I think school is the perfect place for moral discussions. It needs to be carefully regulated so that teachers are not pushing one set of beliefs over another, but I think this is doable.

Your thoughts?

Was Blind, But Now I See

I've mentioned my recent difficulties with my vision lately brought on by my diabetes. Well, in an odd twist today, I have found a "cure." Feeling frustrated that I could barely read because the blurriness kept coming and going, I was sitting on my couch staring at the walls. My glasses were chafing my nose a bit, so I took them off. After a second, I realized something. There was no blurriness. In fact, I could see better than I have in years. The license plate on the car across the street was visible. I could read book titles from across the room. It is the strangest thing. I have kept my glasses off since.

I still need to make an appointment with my optician, but I sure hope this lasts. I don't really mind wearing glasses. They've been on my face since junior high so I really barely notice them most of the time, but not having to wear them would be great.

Weekly Music Video

Ever since Jeromy posted a great "attack ad" against Obama featuring Bruce Springsteen, I've been listening to a lot of The Boss's music. Here he is performing one of his greatest songs, "Born to Run."

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

Who's an Absent-Minded Professor?

I am which means it sometimes takes me awhile to adapt to a new routine. For example, I need to measure my blood sugar and take insulin before every meal. Now that I am back at work, I have to make sure I have all of the supplies to do so with me as I travel between work and home. So far I have:

*Left my lancets for pricking my finger at home on Wednesday. I used the needle to poke my finger instead to get a drop of blood.

*Left my insulin at work on Wednesday. I was about to sit down and eat dinner that night when I realized this so I drove all the way back to work and then back home.

*Left my test strips for the glucometer at home today. I also skipped eating breakfast at home since there wasn't much to eat. That meant I couldn't test my sugar before breakfast and I won't be able to do it before lunch either. I still need to give myself insulin, though, so I can eat. Not wanting to give myself too much, I am giving myself the bottom amount on my sliding scale. We'll see how high that makes my sugar at dinner time.

It doesn't matter how many notes or reminders I give myself, I invariably do things like this until I have time to settle into a new routine. I can tell you the first fifty digits of pi, though, if you're curious.

It's a Beautiful Day

Going back to work on a Wednesday can mess up your schedule. I just checked my calendar and realized it is Thursday. I get to pick up my daughters after work and that makes today a great day.

No More Snow!

What the hell is wrong with this picture?


Can't global warming help me out and stop it from snowing here in Billings?

Yo-Yo Dieting

At my appointment today, my doctor told me I have gained twelve pounds since last week. That gives me some comfort, so I'll probably cut back a little on the food intake. I have been piling on the calories to gain back some of the twenty-five pounds I had lost, but now that I am making good on gaining that back, I'll ease up on the food which should in turn help bring my blood sugar down. The doc wants me to up my evening lantus injection to 20 mg because my sugar is still above 200 in the morning. Not eating three or four plates of food at dinner should help.

He also stressed that I need to pay attention to my feet because diabetics can have trouble with their circulation and not realize they are getting sores and infections in their lower extremities. That means daily inspections. He also wants me to have an full eye exam so that I have a baseline to look at down the road as diabetics become prone to all sorts of wonderful eye diseases.

He also wants to continuing seeing me weekly for now until my blood sugar is regularly under 110, but the longest I get to go without seeing him once everything is under control is three months. Good thing I have insurance.

The Dem Debate

I didn't catch the debate tonight, but Andrew Sullivan live-blogged it. He called it a loss for Obama and ABC.

The big winner is John McCain. Then Clinton who seemed at least awake. Then Obama whose calm was nonetheless trumped by obvious exhaustion. Yes, the Clintons have shredded him. But that's what they know how to do. It's also what the GOP knows how to do. Obama has got to get used to this and find a way to withstand it and fight back without enabling the very cynicism it represents. That's not easy, and we are discovering if he has it in him. Tonight he looked and felt depleted beyond measure. Which is when his supporters have to take the weight.

The loser was ABC News: one of the worst media performances I can remember - petty, shallow, process-obsessed, trivial where substantive, and utterly divorced from the actual issues that Americans want to talk about. At the end of the debate, it appeared that the crowd was actually heckling Gibson. "The crowd is turning on me!" complained Gibson. He has no idea. But he will soon enough.

Isn't our media great?

An Invitation to a Dialogue on Abortion

My good friend, Jeromy, quotes Obama and Hillary on abortion from their appearance at the religious "Compassion Forum" recently. His response is a beautiful picture of crap. Literally.

Anyway, what I would like to do is extend an invitation to Jeromy to a dialogue (or debate or whatever) between our blogs on what government policy toward abortion should be or at least how anti-abortionists should approach the issue. I think that Jeromy and I both agree on abortion itself in that we both find it abhorrent. I also think that we would both agree that in a perfect world, it would not happen. Where I believe Jeromy and I may differ is how best to get closer to this ideal.

I have written about the issue before (here and here chiefly), but I will reiterate and summarize here.

1) Pushing to overturn Roe vs. Wade is not helpful. It polarizes people and allows pro-abortionists to frame the debate as individual rights vs. big government taking away your rights. We Americans are big on our freedoms and rightly so, of course, but it is hard to argue about even something as critical as taking a life when your opponent says you want to take away someone's rights.

2) What is more likely to work at this point is limiting abortions - late-term abortions, partial-birth abortions, etc. More people can get behind laws like this right now than for complete bans on abortion. Until we have a massive culture shift in where a majority of the population stands against all abortions, we need to take baby steps getting there.

3) Part of #2, really, but bears emphasis...parents of children under 18 should be informed if their child is wanting an abortion. Their minors for cryin' out loud! No doubt they are worried about how Mommy and Daddy are going to react. They damn well should be worried 'cause they screwed up. They need to accept the consequences.

4) Abstinence only education is a joke and should be abolished. It doesn't matter whether or not one believes that people should wait until they are married before they fool around. The fact of the matter is that people including teens and young adults have sex. We are all human beings and have human urges and desires. Even the best of us fall short. We can teach our children that it is best to wait until they are married, but, if they don't they need to use protection. The fewer people getting accidentally pregnant, the fewer chances of having abortions there are and that is something we can all support.

So, what do you think, Jeromy? Agree? Think my arguments are a pile o' poo?

Fill My Eyes With That Double Vision

Strangely, I think my diabetes is going to have more of an effect on me physically at least in the short term than my multiple sclerosis. I've been struggling this last week with double and blurry vision. It was bad enough today to give me a headache. My doctor says that it should go away once my blood sugar is more even and not up and down as much as it is now. That will be nice because constantly trying to blink away blurriness is aggravating to say the least.

Teflon Obama

Clinton's desperate attacks on Obama over his "bitter" comment are not working.

Despite a weekend of negative coverage following his controversial remarks about some small town Americans, Barack Obama appears to be holding steady or making gains in the next three primary states, according to a just released poll.
...
The poll also shows Clinton only holds a 5 point lead in Pennsylvania (48 to 43 percent). That margin is among the slimmest measured between to the two candidates and is significantly less than the double digit lead Clinton held there two weeks ago.

A less divisive and polarizing politician may have been able to make more headway after Obama's slip. Not Clinton, however. She is just coming off as desperate and shrill by continuing to make an issue of this. Certainly this will come back on Obama in the general election, but there is no way Clinton is going to be able to stop Obama.

Returning to Work and Thanks

I go back to work tomorrow after taking the last week off to deal with my health. I want to offer my most sincere thanks to all of the family, friends, and co-workers who have offered kind words and support to me this past week. It means a lot to me and reminds a cynic like me that there are still good people out there. I certainly feel as if is more than I deserve and I hope that I can repay everyone in some small way.

Again, thank you all who have been there for me.

The Alien Menace

I love conspiracy theories. They can provide a lot of amusing "what if?" scenarios as well as good laughs. Check out this one for example.

Those of us involved in the emerging field of exopolitics attempt to make sense out of the huge body of evidence available to us involving extraterrestrial reality. I believe the stakes are very high for all of humanity that we collectively understand our situation relative to UFO/ET reality. Developing this situational awareness involves understanding the real reasons for 60 year old UFO/ET cover up even while we struggle to end it.

The pattern I see emerging which I think is reasonably accurate is that we can define two categories of extraterrestrials, colonizers and liberators, interacting with humanity that are the most important for us to understand. I have written previously that there are two very basic evolutionary strategies in nature competition and cooperation, and because we are part of nature our society is driven by these evolutionary forces.
...
What the religious texts seem to indicate is that there has been a longstanding attempt by less ethical predatory colonizing extraterrestrials to take over this planet that are being resisted and thwarted by more ethical cooperative extraterrestrial races. All I am trying to do is bring the public up to speed on modern developments in what seems to be an end game scenario resulting in extraterrestrial colonization if we don´t get smart fast.

Of course, anyone at all into conspiracy theories needs to read Foucault's Pendulum by Umberto Eco. It is one wild read.

Sex Offender Sentencing

This country really needs to rethink how we deal with sex offenders.

Johnson has been arrested a staggering 53 times — the majority for groping women on the subway, police and prosecutors said.

In the latest incident, Johnson was being followed by plainclothes officers who recognized him from police photos, authorities said. He was charged with persistent sexual abuse, and if convicted this time, he could be sent away for life. The district attorney's office branded him a "recidivist transit grinder" at a court hearing earlier this week.

53 times. Most of them for sex crimes. I am all for trying to rehabilitate people which we sadly do not focus enough on in this country, but I continue to read too many stories about repeat sex offenders and the inability for the majority of them to change. Couldn't we use some of the billions we spend on locking up the occasional dope smoker to come up with better ways of dealing with sex offenders?

The Trials and Tribulations of William Shatner

Poor Shatner. He gets into a motorcycle accident and people just shout Trek phrases at him.

Unfortunately for Shatner, the image of him bloody and bruised riding a motorcycle almost naked, attracted unwanted attention from other motorists.

He adds, "People are driving up and college kids are yelling at me.

"Finally they uttered the ultimate insult, 'Beam me up Scotty,' so I gave them the finger."

Is that really what Kirk would do?

It Goes All the Way to the Top

We continue to learn more and more about the Bush Administration's torture program.



This is disgusting. Yes, everyone who signed off on this should be brought up on trial for war crimes. Unfortunately, as stated in the report, Congress seems little willing to do anything and that gets me as fired up as Bush and company signing off on this. How far our country has fallen.

Thanks to Andrew Sullivan.

Obama Hits Back

Obama stops being defensive about his "bitter" comments and comes out strong. I have to say that this is one of the problems with the long campaign cycle and our media. There's nothing substantial to report from either campaign so we get a bunch of hullabaloo over nothing. Don't even get me started on how desperate Clinton is to be making a mountain out of such a mole hill.

Eating Woes

It will take awhile for the reality of diabetes to set in. Like any life changing event, understanding and comprehension take time. Hell, I'm not sure that the full reality of having multiple sclerosis has hit me. The one aspect that is starting to sink in, though, is my changing diet habits.

Over the last two years, I have been trying to become a better eater. I drink very little pop anymore (as opposed to almost a six-pack a day), have cut way back on red meat, upped my intake of fruits and vegetables, and cut back on the amount of food I eat. Overall, I have to say my diet is much more healthy than it used to be. The one weakness I had was sweets. I have a bit of a sweet tooth and I have been known to mindlessly eat half a bag of Hershey's Hugs while watching a movie. Well, no more. In fact, no longer can I just eat whatever I feel like in between meals. Oh, no. I have to eat stuff that is low in carbs (veggies, meats, stuff high in protein), so that my blood sugar doesn't spike.

It's not the eating healthy that bothers me. It's the fact that I have lost the freedom to eat whatever I want whenever I want. Oh, sure, I still can; I'll just suffer the consequences. It's especially trying when my daughters and mother are eating a tasty apple pie with whip cream right in front of me and I'm helpless. I'd take an extra three shots a day if I could go back to eating sugary stuff whenever I had the desire for it. Ah, well. I'm sure I'll get used to it.

Eventually.

Weekly Music Video

Kansas - "Dust in the Wind"

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

Problems With the Mainstream Media

It's things like this that get people riled up at the news media.

* Please note Fidel did bring social reforms to Cuba – namely free education and universal health care, and racial integration. in addition to being criticized for oppressing human rights and freedom of speech.

Thanks, CNN, for making sure we're not too critical of dictators. That might make them cry and we can't have that.

No Link Between Depictions of and Actual Half-Naked Women

Depressingly, a study confirms that there is no link between posters of scantily-clad women and real half-naked women. This has got to come as a major blow to men all over the country, though I'm sure they will not let this stop them from trying. Their perseverance is enough to bring a tear to my eye.

The Torture Veil Continues to Be Lifted

Now we find out that members of the administration including Rice and Cheney sat in on meetings discussing specific torture techniques and how best to deploy them. I have to admit a little bit of surprise at seeing Powell and Rice on that list. I just lost a lot of respect for both of them and would have difficulty supporting either of them for any public office should they choose to run.

The Petraeus Testimony II

Obama has tough questions for the General and Ambassador Crocker.

Meanwhile, Fred Kaplan has a nice summary of the testimony from these two men.

If things in Iraq get worse, we can't cut back, lest things get worse still; if things get better, we can't cut back, lest we risk reversing all our gains.

Thanks to Andrew Sullivan.

Latest Readings

I finished reading Fahrenheit 451 last weekend with my daughters. I have read it before, but it was back in high school, I believe, so many of the small details had been forgotten. It is an excellent book, of course, and my daughters really enjoyed. I think the best part, though, came from the discussions afterward. We talked about censorship and the different forms it can take and why it is so bad. Coming from a home that is very rabidly pro-censorship, it was good for them to get a different take on things. I hope they will keep it in mind when they hear some of the garbage they do at home.

Master of Puppets

My sister made a comment on a previous post about all of the "needle sticks" I will have to give myself. That's made me curious how many it will be, so let's add 'em up.

3/day (21/week) - blood sugar tests
4/day (28/week) - insulin injections
1/day (7/week) - copaxone shot (MS)
1/week (1/week, duh) - avonex shot (MS)

That adds up to...57 needle pokes a week. Wow. I'm in serious junkie territory here. I think this calls for a Metallica music video, one of the greatest metal songs of all time and about the subject at hand.

"Master of Puppets"

Healthcare Fun

This afternoon was an exciting adventure in running around as no one seemed to be of much help.

I had a follow up appointment this morning because my doctor wants to closely monitor my blood sugar until I see the specialist Friday. He told me that my blood sugar level yesterday was 849. The normal range is 70-130 or so. One of the nurses I talked to said, "You're the one with the enormous blood sugar level. Some of us were talking and we couldn't believe you're still up and about." The glucometer again could not read my blood sugar level because it was so high so I had to give them a vial of blood. The doctor also said that he wants to treat the disease more aggressively now rather than wait for the specialist. He gave me a prescription to get a glucometer and supplies. He told me to go pick it up and sometime after lunch come back and he would have a nurse show me how to use it and give me a supply of syringes and insulin.

I went and picked up the glucometer and went back to his office a few hours later. The nurse told me she hadn't used them much, so she busted out the instructions and together we figured out how to operate the machine. We were doing fine until we pricked my finger and put my blood on the test strip. Suddenly the machine just stopped working. I told the nurse it was probably the massive amount of sugar in my blood; the machine couldn't handle it and just fizzled. She got another nurse and we decided that it was probably a bad battery or unit. They looked for one at the office I could have, but none could be found.

So, that meant a trip back to the place I got the glucometer. The girl who had set me up was cute and it was fun giving her a bad time about "giving the guy just diagnosed with diabetes and a blood sugar level over 800 a bad piece of equipment." She apologized over and over and got me another one. She worked on setting it up this time to make sure it worked, but admitted that she is not a "gadget girl" so she ended up calling my doc's office to talk to a nurse about what the settings should be. Finally, she got it figured out. She smiled and told me I could call her if it didn't work. She's probably got a boyfriend, though.

Leaving, I got a call from the nurse at my doctor's office that had been helping me earlier. She told me that another doctor at the office is diabetic and said she would make sure the glucometer was set up properly for me. I drove back there and waited around while she looked it over. Finally the nurse brought it back and said it was properly calibrated and such.

Now the problem is getting blood. I might have to mess with the settings on the skin pricker because I tried it four times on three different fingers and on my palm and I could never get more than a tiny drop of blood no matter how much I squeezed. It was never enough for the machine to read. I never thought not being a bleeder would be a bad thing, but what do I know? Maybe I'll just have to get my knife out and slash open a good vein somewhere.

I did give myself an injection of the insulin before I ate dinner and I have to say that I felt much better this evening. Of course it was probably the first meal I have eaten in weeks that my body was semi-able to process. Thank God for modern medicine, eh. Maybe I can start gaining some weight and not look quite so much like the anorexic white boy as some at work have dubbed me.

Captain Autoimmune

Perhaps this should be my new title. Or maybe I can just tell people, "Autoimmune is my middle name."

I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes today. For the last few weeks I have had some symptoms that I was sure were not related to my multiple sclerosis. I have lost a lot of weight (20 lbs or so), had constant thirst, frequent urination including a few times a night (my daughter, Erica, asked me if I had an enlarged prostate because she had seen a commercial about it), extra fatigue (to the point I was literally shuffling around at work by lunch time), and a sharp increase in blurry vision. I researched the symptoms myself and was pretty sure it was diabetes.

Sure enough, when I went to see my doctor today, he said it was diabetes. He wanted to admit me to the hospital since my blood sugar is so high, but I was disinclined to acquiesce to his request. I talked him into giving me some small doses of insulin until I get in to see the diabetes specialist on Friday. He also wants me to come in every day to get my sugar checked and make sure I don't collapse and go into a diabetic coma or something.

The doctor told me that having one autoimmune disease such as MS makes me more likely to get another. I have two now, so maybe I should start planning for which one I would like to get next. Perhaps I can get one that won't require shooting up. As excited as I get about injecting myself with drugs, I think two diseases requiring it is enough. The next one can have meds in a pill form and I'll be cool with that.

Now that I've been through this twice, I think I can easily say what the absolute best part of being diagnosed with a disease is. It's not when the doctor comes in and tells you what's wrong with you. No, it's when he leaves the room and you're left sitting there alone. You are all alone struggling to grasp what you have just heard. Everything around you seems to fade away. Neither of the diseases I have are life-threatening, but they do change your life on a certain level. That time spent sitting alone in the room after you've heard the diagnosis, but before you can leave, is the worst part of the whole trip. It's so easy for your brain to run wild and start coming up with horrible scenarios.

I admit to being somewhat depressed today after hearing the news. I'm sure it will continue off and on over the next few weeks as I come to grips with this new disease. It's natural, but I know that I will come through. I believe that everyone is tested in their own way and I think this will be one of mine.

I'm up to the challenge.

The Petraeus Testimony

General Petraeus will be testifying before Congress Tuesday and Wednesday.

Some Pentagon officials, including Defense Secretary Robert Gates, had hoped to continue the drawdown in order to relieve the strain of repeated combat tours on U.S. troops and their families. But Gates recently sided with Petraeus on the wisdom of a period of "consolidation and assessment" expected to last at least several weeks, and possibly months. Gates and Admiral William Fallon, the outgoing chief of the U.S. Central Command and Petraeus's direct superior, have expressed concern that leaving 140,000 troops in Iraq will continue to erode U.S. military readiness. But President Bush, mindful of the centrality of Iraq to his legacy, has made clear that what Petraeus wants, Petraeus will get.

The problem is that neither Petraeus nor Bush have answered the question of why the surge is continuing when the stated goal of the surge - space for political reconciliation - has not been met. It doesn't matter how safe we make it in Iraq if the Iraqi government does not come together and form a functional body. Bush has done nothing concrete to pressure Maliki to make something happen. If Maliki has no incentive to form a coalition government, then he can screw around forever and our troops could be there for "one-hundred years." Is that in the best interests of America.

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

Weekly Music Video

The awesome Van Halen with "Hot for Teacher."



I wonder if the almost daily stories of inappropriate conduct between teachers and students can't be traced back to this video. People do seem awfully inclined to believe most of what they see on TV. Not that I think we need to get rid of this great video, though. That would be a crime against humanity. Rather we should teach people to use their damn heads. That is a Herculean task, but one that needs to be undertaken.

Charlton Heston Has Passed Away

Charlton Heston, well known for his larger than life persona, has passed away. He was in so many great movies from Ben Hur and The Ten Commandments to Planet of the Apes and Soylent Green. It's too bad he couldn't come up with a miracle to save himself. He will be missed.

Oh, I'm Dead Serious

I feel like I have a relatively good grasp of the female mind, as good as any male can have anyway. I've been surrounded and outnumbered by them all of my life. When it comes to dating them, though, I feel clueless.

I've asked two girls out in the last couple of months. Both situations were remarkably similar. Both girls had flirted with me a lot, not the mild flirting that happens all the time, but the kind that goes beyond that in word and deed and to me anyway indicated an interest in something more. I asked both girls out. Both said in the aftermath, "Are you serious" and then told me they had boyfriends.

I, of course, felt stupid afterwards in both cases, though I know I shouldn't have. Neither had a ring on their finger or ever said anything about a boyfriend. Both flirted very heavily and it wasn't just me thinking it. I had other people comment on it. In my view, both were giving off signals that they were interested in more than flirting, but as it turns out they really weren't.

So, is this normal? Is that how ladies of my generation act? Is it just me or do other men out there have similar stories?

Clinton Is At It Again

How many times are people going to give Clinton a pass for lying. This time it's about a mother at a hospital. I used to (way back when) defend Clinton to some of her rabid detractors. I can't anymore. She just keeps sinking lower and lower without shame. I'll be glad when the primary is over and she is out of the spotlight for awhile.

Protection Order...For a Duck?

You know, as much as I like animals and hate to see them abused by punk kids, I think a court order of protection for a duck is a little ridiculous. Can't the cops just go talk to the kids parents? Smack them with a mischief charge or something and have them do community service? That's just me, I guess.

Klein on Iraq

Joe Klein usually writes good stuff about Iraq. His most recent post over at Swampland includes some questions Congress should be asking Petraeus during his upcoming testimony. To whit:

*What exactly is the U.S. interest in a fight between Shi'ites? Are you planning to deploy U.S. troops in Basra or any of the other southern cities?
*Why should we take sides between two militias, the Mahdi Army and the Badr Corps, each funded by Iran?
*How deep is the Badr infiltration of the Iraqi Army? Why do most U.S. commanders on the ground refuse to share their mission plans with their Iraqi counterparts in advance?
*How do you create a national army if you don't have a functioning national government or, for that matter, a nation?
*With the foreign fighters and Al Qaeda largely contained--one last big battle looms in Mosul--just what exactly is the U.S. mission in Iraq?
*Do you believe that Iraq is a good location for the permanent U.S. bases that the Bush Administration and John McCain clearly desire?

What do you think the odds are of any these questions being asked? Yeah, probably about zero. Why do we keep reelecting these clowns to office?

Prestigious Teachers

Matt Yglesias responds to a post from Ezra Klein calling for making teaching more prestigious. I agree with Matt that this really is not a feasible endeavor. Trying to create elite teaching programs is not going to suddenly make people think that it is a worthwhile profession to enter.

Fixing schools is going to require a different tack which includes greater teacher flexibility within their classes, curriculums aimed at individual students rather than the big group in the middle, less interference from school boards, greater parental involvement, and economic reforms that bring the lower class up. Of course this is just a start and imagine how much of a furor would be created with any one of these. Someday I plan on making these a reality.

Until It Sleeps

I had my three-month visit yesterday for the multiple sclerosis study I am in. The study coordinators wanted me to see my neurologist as soon as possible because they thought I may be having a minor flare-up. He was able to squeeze me in yesterday, so I went to see him.

I've been getting waves of blurriness in my vision off an on. I've also been getting odd tingling sensations that come and go mostly in my legs. The doctor said that unless it gets worse it is probably a minor relapse and I don't need to get steroid treatments to calm it down. More troubling to me is the fact that I have lost 15 pounds since my visit in January. My diet has not changed, nor has my routine. The doctor says he isn't too concerned unless it continues. We'll see.

All I know is that this hasn't put me in the greatest of moods.

The Spiderwick Chronicles

I took my daughters to see this movie last night. They enjoyed it and so did I. I do have to agree with Roger Ebert, though, that the PG rating is rather stretching things. There are some scary scenes which would probably not be good for younger kids. The pacing felt a little odd toward the end and more exposition and background info would have been nice, but overall this was an entertaining family movie.

The Torture Beast Just Won't Die

A memo has just been declassified that reveals the thinking (or lack thereof) in this administration's quest for the right to torture. It's scary stuff. This most certainly needs to be out in the open so that the American people fully understand what Bush and his cronies have done.

Science Education...Or Lack Thereof

I think stories like this demonstrate a growing lack of basic understanding of science amongst a large chunk of our population. Yes, it is very tragic that so many children are being diagnosed with autism. Several major studies including independent ones have shown, however, that MMR vaccines are not the cause. That's not stopping people from going forward with lawsuits though. Apparently they all know more than the scientists. That's not to say that scientists never get anything wrong, but to disagree with so many different scientists and scientific studies is not just foolish; it is ignorant.

The Ladies

My mother and daughters tell me that the guy in this commercial is just like me.



Personally, I don't know what they are talking about. This guy isn't cool like me. Or something.

Back to the Grind

The worst thing, certainly, about being gone from work for a week is going back. When I went in this morning, I had about 120 emails requiring follow up and a dozen voice mails. Of course, I made little progress on these because numerous problems cropped up throughout the day so where I was worse off by the end of the day. When I left, I had 173 actionable emails sitting in my inbox. Sigh.

Torture Techniques

Andrew Sullivan has a post up about torture techniques the Bush Administration. I think it is important to keep hammering away on this issue. We can't just let it slide and forget about it. The President of the United States has authorized torture. The Congress has done nothing to stop it. This is not what America is about. I am ashamed of our country that torture is happening on our watch under the authorization of the Executive Branch and the condoning of it (by lack of action) by our legislators. We the people need to let our government know that we do not approve of torture and will not rest until it is no longer the policy of the USA.

Incidentally I was watching an episode of classic Trek tonight with my daughters, "The Cloud Minders." In it Kirk is visiting a planet to get a valuable mineral to save another planet. Anyway, the leader of the planet starts torturing someone and that sets Kirk off. He goes off on the guy and tells him that he will not allow torture.

Too bad Bush won't take some leadership lessons from Kirk. Personally, WWKD is one of my mantras and it hasn't led me astray, yet (provided I remember to ask, of course).

Two More Down

I finished two more classes today. I have one more left which is done at the end of April. It's hard to feel much of a sense of relief, though. I don't even want to look at the grades for my last few assignments since I really half-assed them. I am just feeling so burned out right now that I could barely muster the effort to do them, let alone do them well. I'm also way behind in my one remaining class.

I can't wait for May. I'm not taking any classes that month. A break is what I need.

Weekly Music Video

Jeff Buckley singing "Hallelujah" live. I could listen to him singing this song all day and not get sick of it.

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

My New Favorite Word

Menaissance. Let that just roll of your tongue. Men-ai-ssance. Menaissance.

This comes from an article Jeromy linked to on the decline of respect for traditional male traits. It's a good article and a topic I have certainly thought about especially since I saw and read Fight Club. No other book or movie for me has so perfectly captured the zeitgeist of the emasculated male and the anger that feeling engenders.

I do not have the feeling as strongly as many men, I think in large part because I have never been a "typical" male. I am of course a dork, nerd, geek, or whatever you want to call it. Reading and role-playing games are more likely to be on my list of activities than football and strip clubs. I am, though, completely comfortable with who I am. I feel secure in my masculinity without having to resort to activities enjoyed by a more average male.

That said, even I feel the change our culture has gone through with respect to what it means to be a man. Men are different from women and you can't expect to take away what it means to be a man without having men wonder what it is they are supposed to be and be angry when there are no good answers. This is one of the reasons I enjoyed last year's 3:10 to Yuma so much because one of the main themes explored by the movie is 'what does it mean to be a man?'

While I ponder this very serious topic, I intend to use the word 'menaissance' as much as possible. In fact I think when I go back to work on Monday, the first thing I'm going to say (loud and proud) is, "What this hospital needs is a menaissance!" Maybe I'll blow a party whistle, too, while I'm at it.

Lost Highway

I got to Salt Lake City about 45 minutes ago without a glitch. It was a long flight even if the clocks don't show it because of the time change. Having two bickering, disorganized parents with a loud two-year-old behind me wasn't the most exciting thing to have on the flight, but I tuned them out for the most part.

I finished the book I started on my first flight, The Ruins. It was good, if not great. The atmosphere was intense and the author keeps you on the edge of your seat. What kept it from being great, I think, was the characters. Too many of them came off as more annoying than sympathetic. They seemed like normal humans and I can see people acting the way they did in the situation they were in. Still a few of them were annoying. It's hard to get into a character and feel invested in them when you find yourself thinking, "Shut up, you whiny prick." I'd still recommend it, though, for anyone needing a light read. The setting, the story, and the atmosphere were all quite good.

My last flight, the one to Billings, leaves in just under two hours and I'll be home 90 minutes after that. I heard it's snowing there. Maybe it's my bad karma, but I can't help but think that it is officially spring and we have global warming so why is it snowing in Billings? Can't the snow stay up in Canada, yah?

In the Air Tonight

Sing it, Phil.

The flight to Atlanta was very pleasant. I much prefer flying in a 757 to flying in a DC9 or something tiny.I'm guessing weather here is going to be a preview of Billings; it's only about 50 degrees here. Okay, enough whining about the weather.

It's a good thing I checked the monitors here. My ticket said this next flight would be at gate B8, but it's actually at A6. No doubt this is related to all of the flight cancellations Delta announced today for safety checks or something. I'm glad none of min have been cancelled. Yet.

Google/Blogger need to work on the spellcheck. It's trying to tell me that "cancelled" is misspelled and in an ironic twist that "spellcheck" is also misspelled.

Anyway, the flight to Salt Lake takes off at 10:25, so I have an hour or so to kill. I'll probably dive back into my book which is good so far.

On the Road Again

Or in the air again. Or something. It's 6:15 Florida time; my flight leaves in just under an hour. I just picked up a book, The Ruins, to read on the way home. I haven't heard of it, but it looks interesting and the pickings are slim around here. I suppose I could have picked one of the books telling me how to get rich, but I didn't as tempting as it was.

I hope someone back in Billings has cranked up the temp to at least 70 degrees. While the mornings have been somewhat chilly here, the afternoons have been great and I'm feeling spoiled. So, if anyone back home is reading this, I will be back shortly before five o'clock, so make sure you adjust the temperature properly before then.

Getting Spoiled

I wonder if people who travel a lot for work start to get spoiled by the time they spend in hotels. I'm feeling it already. For example:

Problem: I'm hungry.
Solution: Call someone, room service, to bring me something.

Problem: I need a ride.
Solution: Call someone, the front desk, to get me a cab so someone else can drive me where I want to go when I want to go.

Problem: I need something, anything.
Solution: Call the front desk. There are several signs in my room telling me to call them if I need anything at all.

I could really get used to this. Now...how do I get a setup like this at home? Hmmm...

Training Complete

The workshop wrapped up about two hours ago. I suppose today was slightly better than yesterday. I learned a couple of things. Unfortunately it pertained to things we do not use our system for. I got to correct the instructor once again today. The other funny thing I noticed today was that I was easily the youngest person in the room, probably by ten years in fact. Come to think of it, last year's MS Access class was the same. There were probably a few people in their mid-30s, but the rest were definitely older. Darn kids these days ain't got no respect for lurnin'. And get off my lawn, too!

Anyway, I'll fly back home tomorrow morning. It's funny how being away even for such a short time makes you appreciate little things that much more. Mom better be taking good care of Tiberius, too. I don't how I ended up letting a well-known cat-hater take care of the coolest cat in the world, but I did. Don't worry, Tiberius, I'll make it up to you.

Aren't Drugs Wonderful?

Since my pharmacy did not get my Provigil to me before I left Billings, I have had to resort to other methods in an attempt to stay conscious throughout the day, namely caffeine. I have had six or seven cans of pop today (and gone to the bathroom at least that many times) and I just bought a 20 oz. bottle of Pepsi. It seems to have helped a bit, but I still feel pretty fatigued. Why can't I just get my pills?! I mean, that is the American way, isn't it? Not feeling your best? Take a pill! Shoot up! Drugs will make all of your problems go away, so go on, help yourself! Take some more. If a little makes you feel better, taking more will make you feel GREAT!

Whew. I wish I didn't need a pill to help me stay awake.

Sometimes It's Best to Just Keep Your Mouth Shut

Not me this time, but someone in the class today. I was the first person to arrive save the instructor. The next person in was an, uh, interesting character. He was talking with the teacher about something, don't remember what, when he declared that he was a "genius." He did not say this with irony or as a joke. No, he was dead serious. He also had to say that school was very easy and that he never struggled. I swear this was not me. Anyway, he made oddball comments throughout the day, but the best part was that he and his partner were the last ones done on every freakin' exercise we did today. Everyone would have to sit around and wait for the two of them to finish and it didn't appear that Mr. Genius's partner was holding him back any. The two of them were equally culpable in the molasses pace. It was hard not to make a crack about the "genius" and his blistering speed but I refrained. No doubt he was completely clueless as to the disparity between his words and his actions.

I suppose that makes him fit in with a good chunk of humanity.

A Moment of Silence Please

Jeromy recently wrote about spending some time at a Catholic hermitage. There is no electricity. It's just you, alone with yourself. The more I think about it, the more I think I would like to spend some time there. In fact, I think that next spring or summer after I have finished school, I am going to spend a week there. It will be time spent refocusing after a few hectic years and time to contemplate my life and exactly what I want to do and where I want to go. The space and silence will help give me clarity. I can't wait.

Being Challenged

I went to class this morning excited, ready to learn some new stuff about the software we use at the hospital for security access.

Alas, 'twas not meant to be.

The trainer did seem to know what he was talking about. Mostly. I did correct him twice about some questions that came up. It reminded me of the two-day workshop I attended last year for MS Access. The instructor twice asked me how I would do something, once in regards to a question another student asked and once about a problem he was trying to figure out. *sigh* I didn't learn much if anything in that workshop either.

Anyway, the class was so...basic. I can't think of one thing the instructor covered that I hadn't already learned either from pouring over the user manual or just figuring it out on my own. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better, but based on what I saw today, I'm not holding my breath.

It is rather frustrating going to classes like this and not learning anything because you know as much or more than the instructor or at least what he is teaching. I'm sure someone will say, "Shane, it sounds like you're whining about being smart." But, I'm not. Most of my K-12 education was like this, as well. I was bored. I want to be challenged and it seems there are few I encounter who can. Argh, it sounds like I'm bragging now. I'm truly not. I do not consider my intellect to make me in any way better than anyone else. It is simply one of the gifts I have been given, one I am grateful for. The opportunity to really use it, though, to stretch it and see how far it goes has not been given me. I hope that when I graduate and get a "real" job, I will find situations that challenge me, but right now I am not getting them. I crave the moment they do come because I know that at some point they will. Will I be ready? I think so.

Florida Bound IV

It's about 12:30 am local time and I just now arrived at my hotel. I'm tired and I have to get up in just a few hours.

Before I crash, though, I have to say that I did finish The Kite Runner. It is one of the best books I have ever read. Gut wrenching and haunting. Very highly recommended.

Florida Bound III

Well, things were going well until I got to Newark. This place is a maze worthy of a Minotaur and no one seems to know their way around. By the time I got someone to tell me exactly which gate I was supposed to be in and someone to tell me exactly where that gate was, the lady at the gate said, "I'm sorry. Boarding closed about 30 seconds ago."

Would she help me out? Of course not. "You're going to have to go to the Customer Service desk." I go there and the lady seems to not understand what I need.

"I need to get as close as possible to Sarasota tonight," I tell her.

"We have a few flights to Sarasota tomorrow."

"No, I need to be there before tomorrow. I need to get a flight as close as possible to Sarasota tonight."

"Okay, I can get you to Ft. Lauderdalhttp://www.blogger.com/img/gl.italic.gif
insert italic tagse."

"If that is the closest you can get me, then fine," I say.

I get my ticket and find my way to the gate which is rather easy this time because I've been up and down this terminal a few times this afternoon. I sit down, pull out my computer and check the distance from Ft. Lauderdale to my class. I nearly need CPR when I see that it is almost 400 miles. Yeah, that's not going to work.

I find another CS desk and explain to the guy at the counter what has happened and what I need.

"I don't know who set this up for you," he says. You and me both, buddy. "I can get you a flight to Tampa. It's 30 miles from Sarasota."

Much better. I get my ticket switched to that. Unfortunately, this flight does not leave until 6:45. The plane lands in Tampa a little before 10. Then I have to rent a car, drive to Sarasota to get my luggage, and then to turn around and drive to Bradenton where my hotel and class are. Argh.

It's going to be a long night.

Florida Bound II

I am now sitting in the airport at Newark, New Jersey. The flight here was good for the most part. I can get a little queasy when flying. I felt fine on my first flight and the majority of this one was fine, too, but toward the end we hit some mild turbulence. It didn't help that I was sitting in the back, the second to last row, so for the last twenty minutes or so of the flight, my stomach was not agreeable. I kept its contents in, though, so it wasn't all bad.

Flying can be somewhat of a strange experience. Perhaps it is the fact that I have not done it very much, but I can't help but feel slightly disconcerted when I do. Only about six-and-a-half real hours have passed since I left Billings, but because of the time changes, I am eight-and-a-half hours ahead. Even with the extra two hours I'm thinking, "Really?" 'cause it feels like the whole day is done and it should be bedtime.

I forgot to bring some reading material for my flights. I packed some school books to do homework during downtime, but all of that stuff is in the bag I checked. Not wanting to go through another flight reading the sales mags on the plane, I picked up The Kite Runner in Minneapolis. I got through about two-thirds of it coming to Newark and I'm sure I will finish it before I hit Sarasota. I guess I'll have to pick up another book for the journey home on Thursday.

It is a damn good book, by the way, and you should read it.

Florida Bound

I'm sitting in Minneapolis/St. Paul right now waiting for my next flight. Getting started this morning was a bit hectic. Jeromy was a little late picking me up, so I was rushed when I got to the airport. Every staff member from Northwest to TSA was chastising me along the way.

"You're running late."
"You need to be here sooner."
"We do open at 4:30."
"We're going to give your seat away if you don't hurry up."

I rushed through everything and got onto the plane. As soon as I got it, they shut the door. I sat down and breathed a sigh of relief that I did not miss my flight. My relief did not last long, however, as I realized that I left my cell phone and belt with security. Typical. Even better, Northwest staff here in the Twin Cities told me, without even looking at me, that I had to wait until I got to my final destination in order to file a lost and found claim. No doubt what she really meant was that she did not want to be bothered to help me. Typical. Bunch of savages in this town. Heh.

The flight was good, though. It's snowy here in Minnesota, but in a few hours, I will be in sunny Florida. A check of the weather reveals that it is currently 66 down in Sarasota and the high is supposed to be 83. Woot!

Who's the Tolerant One Now?

PZ Meyers, noted atheist and opponent of ID, was not allowed to attend a screening of Expelled, a film about the wonders of creationism.

I went to attend a screening of the creationist propaganda movie, Expelled, a few minutes ago. Well, I tried … but I was Expelled! It was kind of weird — I was standing in line, hadn't even gotten to the point where I had to sign in and show ID, and a policeman pulled me out of line and told me I could not go in. I asked why, of course, and he said that a producer of the film had specifically instructed him that I was not to be allowed to attend. The officer also told me that if I tried to go in, I would be arrested. I assured him that I wasn't going to cause any trouble.

Meyers was even interviewed for the movie. Even better, though, is that he was going with Richard Dawkins, another very vocal opponent of ID, who was allowed to go in.. They didn't recognize him apparently.

Still, though, if you want to be taken seriously on a topic, you need to be willing to debate people who disagree with you. If you can't, you just look scared. Unfortunately, far too many proponents of ID and Young Earth Creationism do not feel a need to take on their critics because "God is on their side." These people always bring to mind this great picture:

Clinton's Hopes

Matt Yglesias can't understand the Democratic leadership regarding their primary campaign.

Under the circumstances, I find it maddening that the party leadership isn't acting to push [Clinton] out of the race.

Amen. At this point, the odds are so slim of her winning that she is only hurting Obama and helping McCain for the general election. Of course she seems to think McCain would be a better President so maybe that's her new goal.

Weekly Music Video

Jeromy sent me a link to a great 80s video. "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)" from Journey. Does it get much better than cheesy goodness like this?

Artist Site

More Videos

Yes, it does. How about a two'fer this week. Here's a live performance of "Don't Stop Believin'"



Admit it. You were singing along, weren't you? How could you not? It's freakin' Journey.

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

Parent Talks With My Daughters

My daughters, Erica and Shaena, are 10 and 11 now. I've had the talk with them twice now, you know...*coughsexcough*..., in which I initiated it because I knew it was high time. I knew their mother had told them some garbage and I didn't want them learning about stuff from kids at school or something, so I took the plunge. They went all right and I'm glad I did it. I didn't intend to just leave it there, either, but to have them semi-regularly as they got older and I needed to introduce new info.

Well, twice in the last couple of months, the girls have somewhat forced my hand. The first time, we were getting ready for dinner. I was at the dining room table; my daughters were in the kitchen...whispering. Uh, oh. I caught a few snippets - "making out," "boys," "barely a Christian." Here we go, I though. Time to talk.

I called them over to the table and asked them to tell me what they were talking about. The gist of it was that a girl at their school was saying that a girl from another school that they all know is "barely a Christian" because she said she likes to "make out" with boys. This should be interesting. I ask them what making out is. Shaena says, "Kissing," as Erica blurts out, "Sex!" Hmmmm, being a father is great. I ask them what they think about kissing boys. Is it okay. Both say not really unless you're married or "at least in your 20s." Maybe I should make this the rule. Yeah, like that would work. I explain to them why kissing boys is not a bad thing and that when they are older and start dating, I won't have a problem with them doing some kissing. There was some "gross" and "icky" thrown around, but I think they understood what I was saying. Mostly, anyway.

The other situation was more, uh...interesting. It also gets bonus points for having my mother at the table. I don't remember what led up to the topic, but we got to have a lovely discussion about, drum roll please, wait for it, cue dramatic music...masturbation. What a great dinner topic. Erica said that Lisa (their evil grandmother) "thinks we're masturbating if we just scratch an itch between our legs." Oh, the humanity. I ask them what masturbating is. "Mom said it's when you touch your body parts and think about someone you think is cute." Tempted to get into a semantic discussion of the definition at this point, but they are my daughters. I ask them what they mean by "body parts." "You know, down there," and they point. "You mean vagina," I say. "Oh, Dad, don't say that," they both say and get the grossed out look on their faces. I break away from the main topic for a minute to tell them that it is perfectly okay to say "penis" or "vagina." Unfortunately, they are not allowed to say those words at home. They have to use euphemisms. Argh. We also briefly talk about embarrassment and I tell them that in all honesty I am not much more comfortable than they are during talks like these.

Anyway, we get back to the the edifying dinner topic of *coughmasturbationcough*. So, I talk to them about what masturbation, telling them that it is any sort of touching of one's self for pleasure and that boys and girls can do it. I tell them that it is not in and of itself a bad thing, that everyone has done it at least once learning about their body. I also tell them that I would not be mad at them for doing it, but that it's probably not something they should do a lot and that it is an activity to be done in private. I was definitely squirming in my seat during this. Mom was, too, and the looks on her face were so comical, I tried not to look at her much.

You know as a parent that you have to have these kinds of talks. Well, okay, some parents know they need to; far too many hope that if they don't talk about it, their kid won't know about it and won't engage in sexual activity. Yeah, if only. But, like I was saying, I know that I have to have these talks and I do rehearse what I will say, but it doesn't make it any easier. It's certainly not my favorite part of parenting, though I do admit it is amusing after the fact. I also know that it's good for them. Better they get good information from me than crappy information from friends, TV, movies, or their mother and grandmother for that matter.

Pharmacy Hijinks

The pharmacy I order my Provigil from, Caremark, has kindly set me up to not have any Provigil next week. I called my doc to get a refill and he sent it in. Well, a few days later, instead of sending me an email saying they are sending it, they send me an email saying I owe them money. "What the hell?" I say. Normally, they send me the bill after they send me the pills. Then the next day, they call me to say they can't send me the pills until I get my account current. I told the lady I was and I pulled up my account records to give her the check number and the day it was sent from my bank. She still couldn't find it, but she said she would look into it. "If I can't find the record of it, I'll call you, but if I do, I won't call." Whatever. She didn't call back and sure enough I got the email later confirming that my pills were being sent out.

This was last Thursday, though, and the email was sent after regular business hours. So, no doubt my package was mailed yesterday. It's not going to get delivered tomorrow (Sunday) and I leave early Monday morning for Florida. I've got half a pill left and I won't be back until Thursday afternoon. If the fatigue hits too hard, I may have to try quaffing a bunch of caffeine to get through my workshop. Argh.

The Ups and Downs of MS

The last week has been a little rocky for me. My mood has been more down than up. I've felt very tired even when I get a full night of sleep and take my Provigil. I've felt cold even when the room is normal room temp. It is frustrating to say the least, but I suppose I should be grateful that I'm not getting any numbness or struggling with any motor activities.

The Difference Between Men and Women

Apparently men learn about war and weapons through osmosis whereas women have a harder time figuring all that stuff out. At least that's according to Dana Perino, White House Press Secretary. I wonder if she also thinks women are too emotional to be in charge and should submit meekly to their husbands.

Some People Just Don't Change

A man in California has been arrested for the 111th time. You read that right, one-hundred and eleven. He's 48, so let's do some math. No doubt this does not include anything before he was 18, so we'll say this is 111 in thirty years. What's that work out to?

111 arrests ÷ 30 years = 3.7 arrests/year or approximately every 3 months and 7 days.

Even better, because of a paperwork snafu, this guy was released and a warrant has been issued for his arrest due to parole violation. I'm sure glad our system works so well.

Did a Good Deed? Too Bad We Don't Care!

It's no wonder that so many people feel disinclined to help others. It just gets you into trouble.

15-year-old Marina High School student, Amanda Rouse, felt ill on her way to school last Wednesday morning, and decided to stay on her bus as it picked up elementary school students. The driver would take her home after the elementary route was finished.

However, by doing this, she didn’t follow proper procedure for leaving school grounds with her illness (checking out at the office, getting parent approval, etc.).

While the bus was driving the elementary route, the driver fell out of her seat at a sharp turn, and struck her head. The bus veered to the side and began hitting parked cars.

Rouse immediately jumped into action, hopped in the driver’s seat, applied the brakes and brought the bus to a safe stop.

So what does the school district do in response to this heroic act? Rouse was slapped with a weekend detention for ‘cutting class.’

That'll learn her. I bet she never "cuts class" again. Or she'll just decide that helping people isn't worth it and not do it again. One of the two.

Clinton's Experience

It's the number one issues she touts as a reason to vote for her. Unfortunately, the MSM has mostly given her a free pass on this and taken her at her word. Now that it is nearly mathematically impossible for her to get the nomination, they finally step up and start doing their job.

Time has started a series examining her claims of experience. The first part looks at the three issues she brings up most often.

Children's health care:

THE BOTTOM LINE: The record suggests Clinton did indeed lobby for children's health coverage but that many others were responsible as well. And it also shows that her husband nearly killed the idea before it ever got off the ground.

North Ireland peace process:

THE BOTTOM LINE: Clinton played a role in hearing the concerns of Irish women left out of the peace process, and in encouraging them to put pressure on their countrymen to pursue negotiations. But that does not mean she rolled up her sleeves and conducted or led the talks that resulted in the 1998 Good Friday Agreement.

Macedonia refugees:

THE BOTTOM LINE: In the case of Macedonia, Clinton engaged in personal diplomacy that brought about change. But securing the return of American business partners is not the same as the opening of borders to thousands of refugees. That accomplishment was a result of broader U.S. and European efforts during the war.

Hmmmm...so where's her experience again?

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Weekly Music Video

In honor of my ex-wife's critical thinking skills, I'll put up a video from Queen. Hmmmm...how about "I Want to Break Free" which not only features the band dressed up in drag, but Freddie cavorting about with his shirt off (won't someone think of the children?) and dancing with people all dressed in skin-tight clothing in a sexually suggestive manner (armageddon is nigh!).



I guess I'm going to hell, because Queen is my favorite band.

More Craziness from the Ex

A couple months ago, I wrote about my ex-wife telling a few of my daughter's teacher that I am a warlock. I heard another hilarious/sad comment from her yesterday. My daughter, Shaena, said, "Mom said she started knowing you were weird after you started really liking Queen 'cause the singer's gay." Thankfully both of my daughters thought that this was a little strange. Of course I did not tell them that Freddie Mercury imbued all of Queen's albums with Satanic magic so that playing them in reverse makes you catch a case of...teh ghay!. Oh, noes!

Bush Wanted War With Iraq

This article is from 2006 and I've been meaning to write about it for awhile now. I don't think enough people really know about some of this stuff.

Our wonderful President was determined to go to war with Iraq, no matter what the inspectors found.

But behind closed doors, the president was certain that war was inevitable. During a private two-hour meeting in the Oval Office on Jan. 31, 2003, he made clear to Prime Minister Tony Blair of Britain that he was determined to invade Iraq without the second resolution, or even if international arms inspectors failed to find unconventional weapons, said a confidential memo about the meeting written by Mr. Blair's top foreign policy adviser and reviewed by The New York Times.

Neither Bush nor Tony Blair believed that building a post-Saddam would be very difficult.

The memo indicates the two leaders envisioned a quick victory and a transition to a new Iraqi government that would be complicated, but manageable. Mr. Bush predicted that it was "unlikely there would be internecine warfare between the different religious and ethnic groups." Mr. Blair agreed with that assessment.

Bush even talked about ways to provoke Saddam into a conflict in order to start a war.

The memo also shows that the president and the prime minister acknowledged that no unconventional weapons had been found inside Iraq. Faced with the possibility of not finding any before the planned invasion, Mr. Bush talked about several ways to provoke a confrontation, including a proposal to paint a United States surveillance plane in the colors of the United Nations in hopes of drawing fire, or assassinating Mr. Hussein.

Emphasis mine. I find it appalling that our President was exploring options that included provoking another nation into starting a war. This is completely unacceptable. It is painfully obvious that Bush was going to get his war with Iraq no matter what. He did not care about WMDs. He did not care about terrorism. Bush cared about getting his war.

So, let's see. Our President is a war junkie. He openly condones torture. He wants broad, unchecked executive power including the ability to declare anyone at anytime an "enemy combatant" thereby depriving them of all rights. He wants a domestic surveillance program that includes warrentless wiretapping.

How can he still have supporters after all of this crap?

Finding Terrorists...Playing Video Games?

The intelligence community is developing software to find terrorists that may be playing World of Warcraft or other MMOs. I almost want to laugh and say this sounds like an excuse for spies to play video games themselves, but then I think, "Wait a second. I'm paying for this." This seems a ridiculous way to find terrorists.

Maybe this is why so many people were so wrong about WMDs in Iraq. They were too busy playing Super Mario Bros. "Bowser seems like the kind of person who would help Saddam out. That fire he breathes has to be a chemical weapon. I better thoroughly explore all these worlds to see if there are any hidden stockpiles of WMDs. Maybe down this pipe here...hey, out of the way Goomba. Damn it, died again. Good thing I scored that 1-up."

Courtesy of Matt Yglesias.

Obama on Abortion

Jeromy over at Seeking Goliath has been critical of Obama for supporting abortion as has Rod Dreher. This is, of course, a completely understandable position. I find abortion abhorrent and wish it did not happen at all. How can I support Obama then? Well, I'm not a single-issue voter (not that Jeromy or Rod are) and Obama does not come off as fanatically devoted to the pro-choice position as so many do. Check out a post from Andrew Sullivan today highlighting a speech Obama gave on the issue some time back. Here's the end:

It is people like him who are looking for a deeper, fuller conversation about religion in this country. They may not change their positions, but they are willing to listen and learn from those who are willing to speak in fair-minded words. Those who know of the central and awesome place that God holds in the lives of so many, and who refuse to treat faith as simply another political issue with which to score points.

So I wrote back to the doctor, and I thanked him for his advice. The next day, I circulated the email to my staff and changed the language on my website to state in clear but simple terms my pro-choice position. And that night, before I went to bed, I said a prayer of my own - a prayer that I might extend the same presumption of good faith to others that the doctor had extended to me.

And that night, before I went to bed I said a prayer of my own. It's a prayer I think I share with a lot of Americans. A hope that we can live with one another in a way that reconciles the beliefs of each with the good of all. It's a prayer worth praying, and a conversation worth having in this country in the months and years to come. Thank you.

Obama comes across as a thoughtful, measured man. I can imagine him having a real debate with someone, not one of ad hominem attacks or straw man arguments, but a respectful dialogue. Can you imagine Clinton doing this? McCain? I can't. Obama certainly has principles, but they do not seem to be held onto blindly. He thinks about issues. Especially after the last seven years, this seems like one of the best traits our President could have.

What Causes PTSD?

A new study suggests that it is more likely having to kill other humans than just being in danger.

During World War II, Brigadier General S. L. A. Marshall interviewed troops that had seen action and collected data on firing rates. His results... were a shock to the American military establishment. Marshall found that among soldiers who were in combat situations, only 15-20% fired their weapons. The majority of soldiers, when it came right down to it, refused to kill; even to defend their own lives.

The non-firing majority were not cowards. They did not throw down their weapons and flee; they just refused to pull the trigger. Grossman offers data suggesting much of the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) seen in veterans derives not so much from having been in danger, but from having had to kill.

Fascinating, not to mention one more reason that the decision to take military action should not be done lightly.

The Non-Existant Link Between Saddam and al-Qaeda

A Pentagon study of "more than 600,000 documents" shows that there was no link between Saddam and al-Qaeda.

An exhaustive review of more than 600,000 Iraqi documents that were captured after the 2003 U.S. invasion has found no evidence that Saddam Hussein's regime had any operational links with Osama bin Laden's al Qaida terrorist network.

Of course this is not the first study showing this.

A September 2006 report by the Senate Intelligence Committee concluded that Saddam was "distrustful of al Qaida and viewed Islamic extremists as a threat to his regime, refusing all requests from al Qaida to provide material or operational support."

The Senate report, citing an FBI debriefing of a senior Iraqi spy, Faruq Hijazi, said that Saddam turned down a request for assistance by bin Laden which he made at a 1995 meeting in Sudan with an Iraqi operative.

Andrew Sullivan makes a good point.

The current main goal of the war in Iraq is to defeat an enemy we didn't have in Iraq before we got there. It is a war that has generated its own rationale. How many more will it generate?

Why aren't more Americans up in arms about this?

Bill Maher Lambasts Conservatives

Check out this hilarious segment from his show a week ago.



So very funny, but oh, so sadly true in too many ways.

Weekly Music Video

Does 80s pop get much better than The Cars and "Shake it Up"?

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The Decider is Down with Torture

Not that this comes as a surprise, but Bush has vetoed the bill that would restrict the CIA to the interrogation techniques outlined in the Army Field Manual. He says it would take away "valuable tools" from the CIA which have "saved lives." Of course, Bush says that his administration does not torture. They're just trying to "protect" Americans. God, this makes me angry. This is America! How can we be having this debate. We need to slough off this culture of fear and say that no matter how bad things may get, we will not sink to the level of those who would seek to do us harm.

Satan iz in ur home steeling ur soul!!1!

Despite being so closely exposed to it because of my ex-wife and reading about it, I am still fascinated at people's capacity to think irrationally (well, in general, but especially...) about Satan. A co-worker brought a bunch of art prints to our department that she was getting rid of. A few of us were looking through them and someone mentions that one is a Van Gogh. A lady who works a few offices down from me says, "Isn't he the one that was involved with Satan?" Everybody else sort of stops and we look at each other wondering what to say. She goes on to say, "That's the feeling I always got from him and I've learned to trust my instincts."

Okay, crazy lady.

Reading Aloud

One of my favorite activities with my daughters is reading to them. A few weeks ago, we finished reading Tarzan of the Apes. They loved it. I did, too, but it's been quite a few years since I've read it. I certainly don't remember noticing the racist undertones of the book which seemed quite obvious to me this time around. It's still a rousing pulp adventure, though.

We're reading Fahrenheit 451 now, another book that I have not read in some time.

Some Pics

Here are some recent pictures of the family.

Shaena's birthday party - Dec.

Jeromy's wife, Debbie, punctuates her point with a spoon while talking to my daughters.


Shaena gets excited over her new cordless mouse while Erica and my mother look on.


Matthew, the newest child for Jeromy and Debbie sitting on my mom's lap.


Shaena using her camera from Christmas to take a picture of her cake.


Last Month

My daughters hamming it up with their cousin, Alexis.


I don't think I've posted a picture of the newest addition to the family. Here is my niece, Brooklynn.


Some outdoor fun. My daughters play with two of their cousins, Alexis and Bryanna, and Elijah, Jeromy's son.


Elijah eyes the slide, unsure whether or not he should take that path.


Erica learned a lesson about combining tinfoil and microwaves.

Going to the Sunshine State

The two-day workshop I am going to for work was finally confirmed, so I booked my flight and hotel today. I'll fly out the morning of the 24th and I'll be back the evening of the 27th. It will be nice (very nice) to get away for a few days, but I'm not anticipating much relaxing. I'm going by myself, so there won't be anyone to hang out with and that is the last week for two of my classes, so I'll probably be frantically trying to get those wrapped up. Still, the Florida warmth will be a welcome break from the Montana chill even if we have had a very mild winter.

The Final Stretch

Speaking of school, with the completion of my IR class last weekend, I am now at 75 credits. After the three I am in now are done, I will have 84. I would like to be able to plow through the rest of my courses by the end of the year so that I could say I did graduate before I turned 30, but between being burned out and not wanting to pile on the classes during the holiday season as I did last year, I am anticipating graduating by this time next year. I can't freakin' wait.

I'm Still Here

I know I said I would be posting more this week in my last vlog entry, but, alas, the best laid plans of mice and men and all that. School has kept me very busy, in fact I'm behind. Part of it is that I am feeling somewhat burned out and struggled to find the motivation to do my assignments. Part of it, though, too, is that I have been running myself ragged. Over the last several days, I've struggled to stay awake after dinner; I find myself nodding off while reading my assigned texts.

So, that's why posting has continued to remain light to non-existent around here. I'm going to try to get caught up by this weekend (*crosses fingers*) so I can be more active around here as well as just relax a little.

One Down

I turned in my final assignment last night for my International Relations class, a paper analyzing the United States National Security Strategy for 2006 and the Bush Administration's success in carrying out its stated goals. I was pretty harsh. Anyway, I'm glad I have one less class to worry about now. Unfortunately it doesn't mean I get a chance to rest. I'm definitely behind and I have a whole lot of work to do.

Weekly Music Video

In honor of their new album..."What's Left of the Flag" by the one and only Flogging Molly.

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