Small Victory

I finished watching Lord of the Rings with my daughters today. We watched Fellowship last week, Two Towers last night, and Return of the King today. They loved it. Erica was a bawling mess at the end of it. Shaena was asking me questions to get more details about all sorts of things. I was very happy.

It was only a month ago, or so, that I mentioned watching LotR with them and they quickly vetoed the idea. They have mentioned before that it is evil and invites demonic influence into one's life. I knew that they would like it and I have made a lot of progress with them in the last year about this matter and have been able to get them to read books and watch movies that they never would have before. I knew LotR would be no different and that I would probably have to "trick" them into watching it.

I didn't trick them exactly. Last week I told them that we could watch a movie after they did their chores. We sat down on the couch and they were telling me some movies they wanted to watch. I had all ready put Fellowship in the DVD player and told them that I had picked one out. I hit play and waited nervously for their reaction. When "Lord of the Rings" appeared on screen, I was looking back and forth at them waiting for some sort of reaction, a comment, a look, anything. Nothing, actually, as they sat there rapt. When it was over, they were very excited and started bugging me to watch the next one. Unfortunately, it was late and they had to go home, so I told them they would have to wait. One of the first things they said to me when I picked them up yesterday was, "When can we watch the next part of Lord of the Rings?" I was very proud of them.

For me it is another small victory in my attempt to broaden their horizons and question the things they hear from their mother and their church. I still worry about it all the time, but moments like these make me feel better.

Coming Soon - Captain and Katie Joy Date #2: Meet the Parents

Katie Joy called me back yesterday. I admit I was feeling the all too human "Is she going to call me back? Maybe she had a horrible time. Maybe I made a really bad impression." Aren't irrational emotions great. I wasn't panicked, but I was starting to wonder. Women do that on purpose, I'm sure.

We talked about mundane things for a few minutes and then I asked her when I could take her out again. She laughed and then paused. I get a little nervous wondering what's coming. Then she tells me she isn't "really dating" right now and hasn't for awhile. She feels that you date someone to see if you want to marry the person and she's not ready to get married right now because she wants to finish school right first and that will take at least three more years, and yadda, yadda, yadda. I made a crack about now having to cancel my plans to propose to her this weekend. She laughed but said again that she doesn't want to date anyone right now, just hang out with her friends. I said I didn't want to get married right now, either, and asked her when we could hang out again then. After thinking for a second, she said, "I'm having dinner with my parents and family on Monday. Do you want to come over?"

What! A million thoughts ran through my mind, like "How did we go from 'hanging out' to 'dinner with parents.'" Somehow, foolishly or gallantly, with almost no hesitation, I said, "Okay." She also told me that if we are going to "hang out" (yes, I heard the quotes in her voice) she wants me to seriously consider going to church. I just said, "We'll see."

So, now I am wondering about dinner on Monday. It will be interesting, I'm sure, if nothing else. I'm imagining all sorts of questions like, "So, Shane, why do you hate church? Are you down with Satan?" or "Do you always watch porn on your first dates?" or "What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" Well, the last question would be cool, anyway. And, yes, I'm being snarky, not serious or judgmental. It will still be an, uh, interesting evening to be sure.

As to the church comment, I'm not sure. I know it's very important to her, but rather than just getting blanket demands, I would like to talk to her about church. I'm not sure she understands that even though I am not a regular attendee of a church, I am very serious about my Christian beliefs and do try to live them rather than just believe them. I don't remember Jesus intoning anything along the lines of "And, lo, ye will attend yon church weekly lest ye feel the flames of the fiery pits licking thy feet and the prick of the great Satan's sharp fork of pitch in thy belly." If our relationship does become serious, our religious differences will be something we will have to really talk about.

But, I guess we're not dating right now. We're just "hanging out" which apparently means dinner with her parents and attending church. You learn something new everyday if you pay attention.

Great Movies

Another cross-post from my family blog:

I have a harder time narrowing down favorite movies than favorite songs. I'm not going to try to number these or rank them.

Dead Poet's Society - I don't like this movie because I want to be a teacher, but it helps. I have always preferred Robin Williams in his more dramatic roles than in his comedies and he really shines here. I love the journey the boys go on and you know that the events in the movie will have an impact on the rest of their lives. Favorite Character - Todd Anderson, the shy, insecure guy always resonated with me. Favorite Moment - The end of course when Todd stands on his desk, saying, "Oh Captain! My Captain!" as Mr. Keating is leaving the classroom. Most of the students then follow suit. A very powerful moment. Memorable Quote - Everybody knows "Carpe diem," so I'll go with "No matter what anybody tells you, words and ideas can change the world."

Braveheart - I saw this three times in the theater. This flick really made me think about heroism and revenge and fighting for what you believe in. On top of the great story was the incredible music which is one of the scores that got me into film music. James Horner is the man. Favorite Character - As cool as William Wallace was, Stephen is my favorite character. He taught me that every story can be even better with an insane Irishman. Favorite Moment - At the very end, after Robert the Bruce asks the army to fight with him, Hamish steps forward and with a cry flings Wallace's sword toward the English. It spins through the air as the music rises into a heroic, but mournful crescendo. The English captain shakes his head. The Scots cheer and charge for battle. Memorable Quote - The last line of the movie: "In the Year of Our Lord, 1314, patriots of Scotland, starving and outnumbered, charged the fields of Bannockburn. They fought like warrior poets; they fought like Scotsmen, and won their freedom."

The Mission - As much as I love this movie and even with the hopeful note at the end, this is one of those movies that almost makes me hate my fellow humans. The scenes at the end as the church and village burn and the helpless villagers are being slaughters, all for political gain, just rips my heart out. I like that this movie does not give easy answers. Mendoza chooses to fight; Gabriel does not and neither one lives. Who was right? Which path was the right one? Which one would I choose? I love a movie that forces me to think and does not draw conclusions for me. It is haunting. This movie is also helped by an incredibl score. Morricone outdid himself here. Favorite Character - Gabriel. His passion and dedication to his beliefs and to helping others are inspirational. Favorite Moment - The child at the end picking up the remnants of a musical instrument before climbing into a boat with other children and heading away from the carnage. It is hopeful, but so depressing. Memorable Quote - Gabriel arguing with Mendoza about how to deal with the coming conflict: "If might is right, then love has no place in the world. It may be so, it may be so. But I don't have the strength to live in a world like that, Rodrigo."

Moulin Rouge! - I saw this six times in the theater. Yeah, yeah, come collect my man-card if you must. I still love this movie. I don't like most romantic comedies or love stories, not because I'm not down with love, but because I don't feel genuine emotion. I don't feel the love that the characters are supposed to be experiencing. I felt in Moulin Rouge, though, in a big way. Maybe it's because love is such a crazy emotion that the over-the-top spectacle of Baz Luhrmann's images combined with perfect use of contemporary songs made this a very moving movie. I felt the connection between Christian and Satine in a way that I almost never do with film romance. Yes, it is a simple, almost childish love, but it is love. Favorite Character - Christian, of course, the "oh-so-talented, charmingly bohemian, tragically impoverished protégé" of the Children of the Revolution. And he had a "huge...talent." Favorite Moment - Christian has met Satine for the first time and is trying to recite his poetry to her while she writhes on the ground pretending to be aroused. Suddenly, he bursts into song and gives her an incredible rendition of Elton John's "Your Song." The two of them dance on cloudy rooftops beneath a smiling, singing moon. Memorable Quote - "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."

Fight Club - I saw this one twice at the cinema. I like strange movies with strange characters and this one fit the bill. Palahniuk's book was good, but this was a rare case of the film eclipsing its source. Fincher was the perfect director to capture the dark, morbid, humorous tone of this story. I think Pitt, Norton, and Fincher should have received Oscar nominations. This movie was a powerful exploration of the modern emasculation of men and what could happen if it swung the other way and was completely unchecked. Favorite Character - Tyler Durden is the man. Favorite Moment - The narrator beats himself up, badly, in front of his boss. Memorable Quote - "You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everything else."

This is getting long, so I'll just toss out the names of a few others that I don't like any less than the few I've mentioned. Another time, I'll explore what I like about these.

Star Trek II, The Empire Strikes Back, Lord of the Rings, Magnolia, Heat, Dr. Strangelove, Blade Runner, American Beauty, Casablanca. I'm sure I am forgetting a few, but as I said, this is getting rather long-winded.

Fascinating

Headline in today's local paper, the Billings Gazette: Senators suspect link between fires, warming.

I, for one, remain skeptical of this. I have never seen or heard of any fire involved in "warming" of any kind. Whatever it is, though, I'm sure our respectable Senators will get to the bottom of it.

Gays in the Military

Armstrong: "General, how many soldier's lives is the life of one gay man worth?"
General McBrayer: "Seven."


'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

Favorite Songs

Cross-posted from the family blog:

There is no contention for my favorite song. It has been the same for awhile now, and it will take a mighty song indeed to knock it from its perch. After that it gets hazy, but I've picked two others that I often cite as numbers two and three. So, counting down...

3. Hero of the Day - Metallica. They have two versions of this song. One is the studio recording from the Load album. I enjoy this version, but if this is the only one I had ever heard, this song would only rank as "very good" instead of one of my favorites. It is the live version from the S&M album which launches this song into the stratosphere. The orchestral backing is a perfectly somber accompaniment and James' voice has become better with age as it captures the emotion of the lyrics perfectly. I have always been fascinated by heroes from fiction to real life and this song is about them. The exact meaning of the song is hard to pin down but it does deal with themes of looking for heroes in the wrong places, not seeing the real heroes that are around us, those same heroes getting beat down by life and society. Best part: Right after "So can't you hear your babies crying now?" before the last chorus as the orchestra is playing slow and somber James hollers out to the crowd, "I can't hear you!" and launches into the last verses with equal parts sadness and anger.

2. Hallelujah - Jeff Buckley. I nearly cry every time I hear this song. Jeff really did have the voice of an angel. It's unfortunate he died so young. Leonard Cohen originally wrote and performed this song, and, though there have been many covers, nothing has come close to Jeff's version on his Grace album. The song is about love and relationships and emotion and ultimately sadness. Cohen made extensive use of religious imagery for this song and it just makes it all the more poignant. Best part: The final time Jeff sings, "It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah," and you feel his heart breaking.

1. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen. You knew this one was coming. Without a doubt BoRhap is my favorite song; there is no competition. Queen is my favorite band and this is the pinnacle of their career. Freddie Mercury has the one voice I like better than Jeff Buckley's. Both have great range (although, Buckley's is greater), but more than that, both inject such emotion into their singing. They are not just singing the songs, they are living them, feeling them. The over-the-top operatic bombast of this song is perfect for Freddie's voice. I love the fact that it has multiple styles and seems to be all over the place musically. It has a cappela singing, a head-banging guitar solo, the sound of a choir (even it if was just Queen overdubbed many times), heartbreaking piano playing, grandiose lyrics, and Freddie's magical vocals over all else. Whatever this song is about, and there are many interpretations, it seems that something is ending for the singer. Whether it is his life or a great romance, who knows? He is in a lot of pain and doesn't care about anything anymore. So sad. Like "Hallelujah," you don't just hear the emotion in the words, you feel it in the performance. Ah, Freddie, you will be missed. Best part: the piano softly playing at the end as Freddie sings, "Nothing really matters. Nothing really matters to me."

I suppose it says something about me that the three songs I listed are not happy, upbeat songs. I am a happy person and there are some great, feel good songs out there (The Cars, Flogging Molly), but I connect more to somber songs.

Finally

So, a month after I got Katie Joy's phone number, I went on a date with her last night. I was starting to wonder if it ever was going to happen.

We went to dinner at Jade Palace, a Chinese place here in town. I've only been there once before, but have wanted an excuse to go back. Katie Joy told me she really liked Chinese food, so this was a perfect opportunity. I picked her up shortly after 6p. She lives out of town toward Roundup. It's about 16 miles from my house (where's the transporter?). I was very excited and a bit nervous driving out there.

I met her parents, and her younger brother and sister. They all seemed nice. Mom was holding a knife when I met her; she was preparing dinner or something. Someone made a crack about her sending me a message. They laughed and so did I. It did seem straight out of a movie.

She looked very pretty, wearing a nice tank top and khakis. Her hair is dark and just past her shoulder in length. We ate dinner and sat talking for awhile before going to my place and watching a movie. After that, I took her home. She said she had a good time and I did as well. Some observations:

1) She didn't say it in so many words, but I got the impression that the fact that she is eight years younger than me (she is only 20) made her hesitant to go on a date with me. Perhaps being a divorced father of two factored into it, as well, but the age difference did seem to be somewhat of a concern to her. When I first started thinking about asking her out, it was something I thought about, too. Talking to her, though, she seemed quite mature and so I worried about it less.

2) What was more of a concern to me, and I knew this before I asked her out and had it confirmed last night, were her religious beliefs. She goes to Faith Chapel and is very involved in it. I have no problem with that. What does make me nervous is the tendency for those of the evangelical tradition to be intolerant of different beliefs. The sad part is that I believe very strongly in God and Jesus and try to keep that in the forefront of my decision making process as much as possible. It annoys me that so many Christians claim that their branch of Christianity is the one true branch and everyone else is a Hell-bound heathen. I don't know where exactly on this scale Katie Joy is, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little worried about it.

3) Two laugh-at-Shane moments. The first was at the restaurant. After paying the bill, I went back to the table to leave a tip. When I came back, Katie Joy asked, "Did you put the tip on the wrong table?" I looked back and she said, "Yeah, you did. You put it on the table next to ours." I moved the tip to the correct table. She got a big kick out of that. I laughed, too. It's not the first, nor will it be the last time I absent-mindedly do something like that. In fact I had another moment later that evening.

I was driving her home. She made a crack about me driving "crazy" apparently because I take turns quickly. I told her I didn't want her to be scared and slowed down to 15 mph. She laughed a little, but then really started laughing when she had to tell me I was about to turn down a one-way street. I looked at the street sign and sure enough I was. I needed to turn at the next block. She was laughing hysterically and so was the pedestrian who saw it and probably saw her laughing at me.

4) She doesn't like Monty Python's The Meaning of Life. Talking earlier, she mentioned loving Monty Python and the Holy Grail. She hadn't seen MoL or Life of Brian, so we decided to watch one of them. She picked MoL, but, as it turns out, she didn't like it. Really didn't like it. She had a big problem with the sex ed skit (which includes the teacher having sex with his wife to demonstrate for the students) and the nudity in the skit in which the man gets to choose his manner of death and has a dozen topless chicks in thongs chase him off of a cliff. The nudity especially bothered her because she said she found it degrading. I told her that I don't like nudity when it's done just for titillation, but that if it has a point as it did in this movie I don't have a problem with that. She wasn't convinced by my argument. I guess I'll try to avoid watching movies with her that have topless girls.

5) I had a really good time. She said she did, too, but she's nice enough to say that even if she didn't. No, I think (hope) she did. I like her. She's smart, pretty, independent, has goals for her life, sarcastic (always a bonus), and funny. I do want to go on some more dates with her. I'll probably call her tomorrow.

Soulmates

I think my sister, Shawna, could identify with this guy.

You know I love you, Shawna, but I just couldn't resist.

A Modern Bible

I would love to get a copy of this Bible.

Tales From the Noble Library

I just finished reading The Iliad. I have wanted to read it for a long time now (along with 50 million other books) but have only just got around to it. The translation was done by Robert Fagles, a noted expert on Greek literature. His translation was easy to read and engaging.

The poem was definitely enjoyable and it is easy to see why it has survived for as long as it has. The story is epic. The characters are larger than life while still feeling human. The violence is gritty and real, indeed I'm not sure I've read about more splattering blood and guts anywhere. Few people die without a graphic depiction of the spear or sword tearing through their bodies. Philosophies of war and battle are debated and argued.

It can be dry at times. Indeed, chapter two took me awhile to get through as it was mostly a list of various captains and which army they were leading. There are times, too, when the violence is just overwhelming it becomes numbing. If I was reading late at night, the battles would sometimes start to blend together and I couldn't remember who was leading what charge and who was fighting who and who was currently winning. Overall, though, the poem moves along well and is very engaging.

One of the most striking aspects to me was the deeply tragic nature of events due to the lack of control by the human characters. They are at the mercy of the gods who scheme and manipulate everything in an attempt to achieve the outcome they desire. They take part in the fighting, disguise themselves as mortals, grant some people immunity and strength, whisk a favorite away to prevent his death. I came away feeling sorry for all of the characters, unable to do as they wish, puppets on the strings of Zeus and his cohorts. Is this a natural human feeling? I don't think anybody living today would blame their ills on Hera, but I do think many people feel that they are not in control of their lives. How sad. It must be very frustrating and the source of much anger to not feel as though you are in control of your life. While their may be some things that happen to us in the course of our lives we cannot control, I firmly believe we can control how react to those situations.

The other book I have been reading is Watership Down. I have been reading it to my daughters, a chapter or two a week, when they are here. I have read it before and it is a favorite. My girls are definitely enjoying it, too. It is a very engaging book. Unlike many books featuring anthropomorphic animals, the rabbits of Watership Down are very recognizable as rabbits. They do not dress in clothes, carry tools, and live in houses. In fact, they are almost what one would expect real rabbits to be like if one could talk to them. Highly recommended reading.

I think the next book I am going to read for myself is Song of Kali by Dan Simmons.

Old School

While borrowing a car from my friend, Jeromy, a few weeks ago I put a CD of his in the stereo, Kickin' It Old School. It has a bunch of hip-hop classics from the 80s and 90s. I'm definitely not a hip-hop/rap fan with the exception of a few songs here and there. There were two songs on the CD that I actually do like, though. Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" and Puff Daddy's "I'll Be Missing You." Since listening to them in Jeromy's car, they've been stuck in my head, so I downloaded them from the iTunes store tonight.

I suppose my enjoyment of these hip-hop songs (and a few others like Eminem's "Cleaning Out My Closet" and "Lose Yourself") is because they aren't celebrating violence, drug use, and misogyny as so much of rap does. They are songs about real emotions and real moments. I can get behind songs that do that in any genre. Even country. Well, sometimes, anyway.

"Let the rain sing you a lullaby."

I think I've started a new tradition with my daughters and nieces. A month ago (six weeks?) we had a thunder storm. It was Friday evening. My daughters were over to spend the night and my nieces Alexis and Bryanna were also here. I was feeling down, not for any particular reason, but just because. I looked outside as the rain just started coming down and had a crazy thought. "How much fun would it be to go running outside right now?"

"Come on girls! Follow me," I shouted.

"Where are we going?" one of them asked.

"Outside."

"But, it's raining."

"I know," I said opening the back door and leading the four of them out into the backyard and into the rain. For just a minute all cares and worries and worldly things were forgotten. It was me, my daughters, and two of my nieces, running around the yard like fools, arms outstretched, laughing, screaming. Soaked, I led the charge back inside and we sat down for dinner.

After dinner, the rain became a torrent. Winds were gusting up to fifty miles an hour. My sister, Shawna, realized her car windows were down and ran out to roll them up. Still wet from our pre-dinner excursion, I said, "Girls, I think we better go help Shawna roll up her windows!" They cheered and we all went back into the storm.

The wind threatened to knock Alexis, only three, over. She kept saying, "The wind's messing up my hair!" I picked her up and put her on my shoulders and we ran around in circles. Of course, the five of us were not helping Shawna. We were having more fun acting like idiots. After getting very drenched this time, we ran back in the house.

Two brief but magical moments that I will never forget. For a minute all worries, fears, and cares were forgotten. Everything seemed to fade away; the world consisted of me, my daughters, my nieces, and the rain.

They have not forgotten it, either. A few weeks later, during another rainstorm, we went running into the rain again at the urging of my little ladies. And, again today, a few drops of rain began to fall and Alexis said, "Uncle Shane, let's go run in the rain!" So, of course, we did.

It's the little things in life that make it enjoyable.

Politics As Usual

Well, the upcoming presidential election is shaping up to be anything but. I had typed up a long post musing about the election and the candidates, but Firefox froze up on me and most of it was erased. I don't feel like retyping it now (it's bedtime!), but I will post some thoughts on it over the next few days. I am a bit of a political junkie for all of my cynicism about the issue.

The one candidate I can really support right now is Barack Obama. Andrew Sullivan had a great post on his blog today about a recent speech of Obama's. It is exactly the reason I find myself supporting him more and more (Obama, not Sullivan). I support Sullivan staying right where he is and writing more.

"It's waiting for the master's touch."

I picked up my car from the shop today. Was it fixed? Of course not. This mechanic, just as the last one, was unable to find the problem. It never died for them. He told me they drove it around the city a few times and left it running for a few hours three times in the shop. It never died. He tested a few parts and they checked out. He told me that without knowing what the problem was, the only thing he could really do is start replacing various parts and see if that worked. Obviously, that would be expensive and I respectfully declined his offer.

He jokingly said that my car might not like me and that maybe "it's waiting for the master's touch." When I told him that my sister's vehicle did the same thing to me the other day, he laughed, but he had that look on his fact that said, "Yeah, it probably is you, you kook."

So, I have my car back and it's still not fixed. I don't know whether to get upset or laugh at the absurdity of it.

It's a Conspiracy

There is some sort of secret car society actively working to make my life difficult.

The shop called me about my car today. They told me they were having trouble finding anything wrong with my vehicle. It started right up for them. It didn't die. The manager told me he was going to try a few more things, but he was stumped.

I've been borrowing my sister's vehicle, an Isuzu Trooper. What did it do to me tonight when I went to get dinner? That's right. It died on me. A few times. I'm just driving down the road and it dies. I got it home if barely.

Why do cars hate me?

UPDATE: Okay, the vehicle is a Toyota 4Runner, not an Isuzu. I don't know why I had that stuck in my head. Regardless of what it is, the car doesn't like me.

"I know!"

I really wonder about some churches out there.

At my job, I am responsible for everyone who comes to the hospital for business that is not a staff person. That includes vendors, contractors, and students. I put them through a brief orientation, verify their identity and employment, and keep track of them while they are here.

I also do this for clergy and parish visitors who come to the hospital to visit members of their church. More than any other group (excepting doctors), they have been the most difficult to deal with. That includes the director of our Spiritual Care department. I could go on for awhile with various stories about this, but I'll save them for another day.

A couple of months ago I gave her a list of clergy and parish visitors that had been through orientation with me. It was organized alphabetically by church and then by last name. She emailed me last week and said that was not working because "sometimes people don't know the name of the church." I wanted to ask who doesn't know, the people from the church, her and her staff, the volunteers who assist her, but I refrained. For a number of reasons, I just nod and agree whenever she says anything. Anyway, she wanted a list organized by denomination. So, I have had to go into my database and list a denomination for the nearly 200 churches I have listed.

Most are easy. If I don't know it, I can find it under the Yellow Pages of the phone book which lists churches by denomination. Sometimes, the church is not listed, however, and so I get on teh Interwebs and use the Google to find the answer. That led to an amusing find this morning.

I was looking up the Cornerstone Community church. While browsing the website of one of their branches, I found this beautiful nugget:

When one begins to study the Bible it doesn’t take long to determine what God values the most: he values himself above all else...

So apparently, God is like this guy:



I think God just became a lot cooler in my book. I do wonder about that church, though.

Is There No Truth In Beauty?

I know that this is what our fashion/beauty industry does, but it's still amazing to actually watch it in action.

Weekly Secret

PostSecret

Car Problems II: Son of Car Problems

Apparently, the feeling is mutual when it comes to my hatred of my car. The day after I wrote about it stalling on me while I was coming home from work, it did it again. Four times. In the same trip. Argh!

So, it's at the shop now. They've had it since Tuesday and I haven't heard from them, yet. I'm getting nervous that they will come back and tell me it's going to cost me some outrageous amount to get it fixed. I have such a burning desire to drive it off a cliff (without me in it).

In the meantime, I am borrowing my sister, Shawna's, vehicle. She just spent some $1500 or whatever getting it fixed. It will probably break down on me, too. I've already had the knob on the gear shift fall off and refuse to be put back on. Shifting without it is rather a pain.

Where's Scotty when I need him?

Done

I took my final exam last night for my Bible class and turned in my final paper today. Finally, I am done with all of my classes. I've been feeling burned out anyway, but this one really sapped me.

I'm taking at least a month off from school. I've been going almost non-stop for nearly a year now, so I think I've earned a break.